worry quest (?)

Vaheguru <3
WJKK WJKF =]
Sometimes we worry, and think that our inadequacies, our faults, our attachment to vakaars & actions under the influence of Maaya come between Guru Ji and us. But the truth is that nothing & no one can come between our relationship with our Khasam. I'm an internal optimist, but a worrywart, sometimes I worry that Pita Ji will hate me to eternity if I make mistakes...
And, I have made mistakes- BIG ones, repeatedly, over and over again... sometimes even knowingly... but I see that Pita Ji has always stood right by me, to embrace me once I realized how disgusting my actions were. Pita Ji is crazily AMAZING. He loves us infinitely.
He shall never ever ever let go of us... He shall never ever ever ever leave our hand~
Here's a question (if you'd like to help me out!):  Am I dreaming that Pita Ji repeatedly forgives me and embraces me??? I just think that if He blesses my swaas (prana/ breaths) with naam or gurbani recitation or veechaar, then that means that He's not letting go of me... is that right, or even sinful people who are struck with heavy misfortune, are blessed with gurbani? I dunno!
Anyways, here's is what Pita Ji told me tonight at the end of my raul (so maybe not the hukamnammah, but a bit of a conclusion to my day):

ਸੂਹੀ ਮਹਲਾ ੩ ॥  Sūhī mėhlā 3. Shalok, Third Mehl:  ਸੋਹਿਲੜਾ ਹਰਿ ਰਾਮ ਨਾਮੁ ਗੁਰ ਸਬਦੀ ਵੀਚਾਰੇ ਰਾਮ ॥  Sohilṛā har rām nām gur sabḏī vīcẖāre rām. The song of joy is the Naam, the Name of the Lord; contemplate it, through the Word of the Guru's Shabad.  ਹਰਿ ਮਨੁ ਤਨੋ ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਭੀਜੈ ਰਾਮ ਨਾਮੁ ਪਿਆਰੇ ਰਾਮ ॥  Har man ṯano gurmukẖ bẖījai rām nām pi▫āre rām. The mind and body of the Gurmukh is drenched with the Lord, the Beloved Lord.  ਰਾਮ ਨਾਮੁ ਪਿਆਰੇ ਸਭਿ ਕੁਲ ਉਧਾਰੇ ਰਾਮ ਨਾਮੁ ਮੁਖਿ ਬਾਣੀ ॥  Rām nām pi▫āre sabẖ kul uḏẖāre rām nām mukẖ baṇī. Through the Name of the Beloved Lord, all one's ancestors and generations are redeemed; chant the Lord's Name with your mouth.  ਆਵਣ ਜਾਣ ਰਹੇ ਸੁਖੁ ਪਾਇਆ ਘਰਿ ਅਨਹਦ ਸੁਰਤਿ ਸਮਾਣੀ ॥  Āvaṇ jāṇ rahe sukẖ pā▫i▫ā gẖar anhaḏ suraṯ samāṇī. Comings and goings cease, peace is obtained, and in the home of the heart, one's awareness is absorbed in the unstruck melody of the sound current.  ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਏਕੋ ਪਾਇਆ ਹਰਿ ਪ੍ਰਭੁ ਨਾਨਕ ਕਿਰਪਾ ਧਾਰੇ ॥  Har har eko pā▫i▫ā har parabẖ Nānak kirpā ḏẖāre. I have found the One and only Lord, Har, Har. The Lord God has showered His Mercy upon Nanak.  ਸੋਹਿਲੜਾ ਹਰਿ ਰਾਮ ਨਾਮੁ ਗੁਰ ਸਬਦੀ ਵੀਚਾਰੇ ॥੧॥  Sohilṛā har rām nām gur sabḏī vīcẖāre. ||1|| The song of joy is the Naam, the Name of the Lord; through the Word of the Guru's Shabad, contemplate it. ||1||  ਹਮ ਨੀਵੀ ਪ੍ਰਭੁ ਅਤਿ ਊਚਾ ਕਿਉ ਕਰਿ ਮਿਲਿਆ ਜਾਏ ਰਾਮ ॥  Ham nīvī parabẖ aṯ ūcẖā ki▫o kar mili▫ā jā▫e rām. I am lowly, and God is lofty and exalted. How will I ever meet Him?  ਗੁਰਿ ਮੇਲੀ ਬਹੁ ਕਿਰਪਾ ਧਾਰੀ ਹਰਿ ਕੈ ਸਬਦਿ ਸੁਭਾਏ ਰਾਮ ॥  Gur melī baho kirpā ḏẖārī har kai sabaḏ subẖā▫e rām. The Guru has very mercifully blessed me and united me with the Lord; through the Shabad, the Word of the Lord, I am lovingly embellished.  ਮਿਲੁ ਸਬਦਿ ਸੁਭਾਏ ਆਪੁ ਗਵਾਏ ਰੰਗ ਸਿਉ ਰਲੀਆ ਮਾਣੇ ॥  Mil sabaḏ subẖā▫e āp gavā▫e rang si▫o ralī▫ā māṇe. Merging in the Word of the Shabad, I am lovingly embellished; my ego is eradicated, and I revel in joyous love.  ਸੇਜ ਸੁਖਾਲੀ ਜਾ ਪ੍ਰਭੁ ਭਾਇਆ ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਨਾਮਿ ਸਮਾਣੇ ॥  Sej sukẖālī jā parabẖ bẖā▫i▫ā har har nām samāṇe. My bed is so comfortable, since I became pleasing to God; I am absorbed in the Name of the Lord, Har, Har.  ਨਾਨਕ ਸੋਹਾਗਣਿ ਸਾ ਵਡਭਾਗੀ ਜੇ ਚਲੈ ਸਤਿਗੁਰ ਭਾਏ ॥  Nānak sohagaṇ sā vadbẖāgī je cẖalai saṯgur bẖā▫e. O Nanak, that soul bride is so very blessed, who walks in harmony with the True Guru's Will.  ਹਮ ਨੀਵੀ ਪ੍ਰਭੁ ਅਤਿ ਊਚਾ ਕਿਉ ਕਰਿ ਮਿਲਿਆ ਜਾਏ ਰਾਮ ॥੨॥  Ham nīvī parabẖ aṯ ūcẖā ki▫o kar mili▫ā jā▫e rām. ||2|| I am lowly, and God is lofty and exalted. How will I ever meet Him? ||2||  ਘਟਿ ਘਟੇ ਸਭਨਾ ਵਿਚਿ ਏਕੋ ਏਕੋ ਰਾਮ ਭਤਾਰੋ ਰਾਮ ॥  Gẖat gẖate sabẖnā vicẖ eko eko rām bẖaṯāro rām. In each and every heart, and deep within all, is the One Lord, the Husband Lord of all.  ਇਕਨਾ ਪ੍ਰਭੁ ਦੂਰਿ ਵਸੈ ਇਕਨਾ ਮਨਿ ਆਧਾਰੋ ਰਾਮ ॥  Iknā parabẖ ḏūr vasai iknā man āḏẖāro rām. God dwells far away from some, while for others, He is the Support of the mind.  ਇਕਨਾ ਮਨ ਆਧਾਰੋ ਸਿਰਜਣਹਾਰੋ ਵਡਭਾਗੀ ਗੁਰੁ ਪਾਇਆ ॥  Iknā man āḏẖāro sirjaṇhāro vadbẖāgī gur pā▫i▫ā. For some, the Creator Lord is the Support of the mind; He is obtained by great good fortune, through the Guru.  ਘਟਿ ਘਟਿ ਹਰਿ ਪ੍ਰਭੁ ਏਕੋ ਸੁਆਮੀ ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਅਲਖੁ ਲਖਾਇਆ ॥  Gẖat gẖat har parabẖ eko su▫āmī gurmukẖ alakẖ lakẖā▫i▫ā. The One Lord God, the Master, is in each and every heart; the Gurmukh sees the unseen.  ਸਹਜੇ ਅਨਦੁ ਹੋਆ ਮਨੁ ਮਾਨਿਆ ਨਾਨਕ ਬ੍ਰਹਮ ਬੀਚਾਰੋ ॥  Sėhje anaḏ ho▫ā man māni▫ā Nānak barahm bīcẖāro. The mind is satisfied, in natural ecstasy, O Nanak, contemplating God.  ਘਟਿ ਘਟੇ ਸਭਨਾ ਵਿਚਿ ਏਕੋ ਏਕੋ ਰਾਮ ਭਤਾਰੋ ਰਾਮ ॥੩॥  Gẖat gẖate sabẖnā vicẖ eko eko rām bẖaṯāro rām. ||3|| In each and every heart, and deep within all, is the One Lord, the Husband Lord of all. ||3||  ਗੁਰੁ ਸੇਵਨਿ ਸਤਿਗੁਰੁ ਦਾਤਾ ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਨਾਮਿ ਸਮਾਇਆ ਰਾਮ ॥  Gur sevan saṯgur ḏāṯā har har nām samā▫i▫ā rām. Those who serve the Guru, the True Guru, the Giver, merge in the Name of the Lord, Har, Har.  ਹਰਿ ਧੂੜਿ ਦੇਵਹੁ ਮੈ ਪੂਰੇ ਗੁਰ ਕੀ ਹਮ ਪਾਪੀ ਮੁਕਤੁ ਕਰਾਇਆ ਰਾਮ ॥  Har ḏẖūṛ ḏevhu mai pūre gur kī ham pāpī mukaṯ karā▫i▫ā rām. O Lord, please bless me with the dust of the feet of the Perfect Guru, so that I, a sinner, may be liberated.  ਪਾਪੀ ਮੁਕਤੁ ਕਰਾਏ ਆਪੁ ਗਵਾਏ ਨਿਜ ਘਰਿ ਪਾਇਆ ਵਾਸਾ ॥  Pāpī mukaṯ karā▫e āp gavā▫e nij gẖar pā▫i▫ā vāsā. Even sinners are liberated, by eradicating their egotism; they obtain a home within their own heart.  ਬਿਬੇਕ ਬੁਧੀ ਸੁਖਿ ਰੈਣਿ ਵਿਹਾਣੀ ਗੁਰਮਤਿ ਨਾਮਿ ਪ੍ਰਗਾਸਾ ॥  Bibek buḏẖī sukẖ raiṇ vihāṇī gurmaṯ nām pargāsā. With clear understanding, the night of their lives passes peacefully; through the Guru's Teachings, the Naam is revealed to them.  ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਅਨਦੁ ਭਇਆ ਦਿਨੁ ਰਾਤੀ ਨਾਨਕ ਹਰਿ ਮੀਠ ਲਗਾਏ ॥  Har har anaḏ bẖa▫i▫ā ḏin rāṯī Nānak har mīṯẖ lagā▫e. Through the Lord, Har, Har, I am in ecstasy, day and night. O Nanak, the Lord seems sweet.  ਗੁਰੁ ਸੇਵਨਿ ਸਤਿਗੁਰੁ ਦਾਤਾ ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਨਾਮਿ ਸਮਾਏ ॥੪॥੬॥੭॥੫॥੭॥੧੨॥  Gur sevan saṯgur ḏāṯā har har nām samā▫e. ||4||6||7||5||7||12|| Those who serve the Guru, the True Guru, the Giver, merge in the Name of the Lord, Har, Har. ||4||6||7||5||7||12||