Sunday, March 31, 2013

getting over Amrit!?!

... I love Him, there's no doubt about it.
I really LOVE Pita Ji Maharaaj, and I LOVE Akaal Purakh Vaheguru. I long to be at His Charan Kamal. I long to catch a glimpse of Him... to be at His godh... There's no doubt that this love, this bond of Charan Pahul is unbreakable. But there's tests, struggles, road blocks all put in place to rase you above and take you some place better in terms of this bond.

When we say we love someone, we imagine people dying & not being able to carry on basic physiological functions without the other person. Just like Guru Ram das Ji Maharaaj says:
ਮੋਹਿ ਰੈਣਿ ਨ ਵਿਹਾਵੈ ਨੀਦ ਨ ਆਵੈ ਬਿਨ੝ ਦੇਖੇ ਗ੝ਰ ਦਰਬਾਰੇ ਜੀਉ ॥੩॥
Mohi raiṇ na vihĝvai nīḝ na ĝvai bin ḝekẖe gur ḝarbĝre jī▫o. (3)
I cannot endure the night, and sleep does not come, without the Sight of the Beloved Guru's Court. (3)'s He's unable to sleep at night without Akaal Purakh Vaheguru, and Guru Gobind Singh Ji Maharaaj Says.. how since He walked on the path towards Vaheguru He didn't even let his eye wander/ look elsewhere:
ਪਾਂਇ ਗਹੇ ਜਬ ਤੇ ਤ੝ਮਰੇ ਤਬ ਤੇ ਕੋਊ ਆਂਖ ਤਰੇ ਨਹੀ ਆਨਯੋ ॥ 
Since the day I caught hold of your feet, I have not looked elsewhere....

A really precious (/close) friend of mine, is going through a break-up right now. This was kinda sudden... they were so magical together, at least I thought so! I was talking to my bud and we were talking about how she doesn't need to worry about people and their questions... and that she is not answerable to anyone except for herself. Somewhere along the conversation, she said something like it is over now, and neither of us are dying to talk to each other or have an uncontrollable desire to be beside each other, we're able to go on with our lives... was this even love? Isn't love kinda like one of those phenomenon where if you separate, you cannot function without your lover & that it seems like being devoid of air to breath? 
Another friend of mine, was recently blessed with Amrit. She was mentioning how profound her first few days have been and how Guru Ji has suddenly filled every void of her life... She pointed out that 'how can one get over Amrit' and that it is such a profound thing.
I feel her, I feel this bond and how getting over it is like forgetting to breathe. Some nights, I experience this, exactly this, when you cry your eyes out because you wanna just get that glimpse of your Preetam. You literally feel yourself in His embrace, in His Charan Kamal and yet, after angs and angs of baani, after days and nights of simran, after hours and hours of meditation, you don't feel satiated. You don't feel that you're there yet or that you've got Him, even though this is the biggest fallacy, you always have him, He is Sarab Nirantar, yet you w'want' Him to be closer.
But then, I recall the moment when I was blessed with Amrit, perhaps it was the sweetness of the ras, but I was satiated, for once in my life- this insatiable being within me felt so much satisfaction, so much tript that I couldn't have it any more! I only fell on the ground cried until I forgot myself and that was it!
The reason I'm writing this post, is because I want us to explore love, I want to know what it means when I say I love and adore mere piyare preetam Akaal Purakh Vaheguru. I want to discover what it means to love someone. When people say I could do anything for you and that I am nothing without you, what does it mean? 
But the one thing I realize is that, guru Ji can do ANYTHING for us, but can we do absolutely anything for His love, His Bhagti, for His Charan Kamal. And then there were these bhagats who even got wrapped in cotton & burnt alive for their faith and then there wear these mothers whose little babies were killed in front of their eyes as a result of them, staying true their faith and not leaving Guru Jis charan kamal for anything. 
But my question still remains, why do some people 'get over' stuff so easily? How can someone get over Amrit? And we know that people do, we all do- we get over Amrit sometimes only from a moment to moment basis, we forget our commitment to the hukam, the rehit, Amrit vela or to Guru Ji's charan kamal in general. At this point, I feel that Sikhi intersects with buddhism, in that keeping a moment to moment mindful consciousness or Simran or dhyaan is so essential for never getting over the prem ras of Amrit!  Sikhi is so simple yet it can be so complicated, such is life, isn't it? We are all suhaaganaa of the preetam, we are all colored in His love and yet, theoretically, it is so challenging and practically it is so possible to always remain the bride of Akaal purakh. 
The truth is, that the prem piri sohaangan within us, cannot endure this separation, cannot sleep without Him and that's what makes this relationship special~ 
Have you ever done something absolutely stupid or nasty at night & woken up with a dream where you were interacting Guru Ji in some shape, way or form? Aren't those awesome nights? Your pain of separation is so strong, that He has to come help you heal out of the wounds your mind inflicted upon yourself!

And yet, there are those nights when you experience Him and nothing else exists for you.

You know what's really funny, He's soooo crazy & adorable like that! 

Anyway! I want us to think about it- I want us to commit to Him Oh so completely, that we never ever, even for a moment get over the ras of His love. How can we, anyway? 
I want us to dive deeper and deeper in His love.
I intend for us to immerse in the true Guru's love 

Dhan sohaagan naar < 3

Dhan Guru Nanak _/\_
Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh _/\_

*Love & Light* _/\_ *Hugs & Prayers*


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