Wahegru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh
I certainly have a tonne to share, now that I'm back here after well over 2 years!
Even though the desire to share is well lit, the desire to be heard or even to be seen has greatly diminished. I therefore, write for the few of you who have been asking & waiting for updates. Thank you for your emails and messages =)
As I was diving deeper into ocean of my longing for Preetam and His Charan Kamal, it became more and more clear to me that I was meant to serve.
I remember, one of my earliest spiritual experiences had so much to do with Guru Amar Das Ji Maharaaj. I've always learnt from Him, to serve wholeheartedly, selflessly and with all that you've got- Tan, Man, Dhan (body, mind, money); mind, body and spirit.
On this worldly journey, I finished my Undergrad and then dived into Doula work- started my company called Adi Shakti Birthing. This actually also followed a specific experience. I remember, about the end of 2013, I was reading Guru Nanak Chamatkaar (by Bhaisaab Bhai Veer Singh Ji) and I had this connection to the birth of Guru Nanak Dev Ji Maharaaj, during the Gurpurabh time, November 2013, and this specific experience in meditation, with Daultaa Dayee, who was the midwife attending the birth of Maharaaj. She then stayed on with the family and raised Maharaaj Ji's duniyaavi incarnation. Her story struck something deep within me, and that connection then took me to the depths of my being- the question of "Who am I and why I am here?" rang louder and clearer. I knew seva is my primary purpose, as of any Sikh- but with my relationship with Guru Harkrishan Sahib Ji Maharaaj bearing fruit, one day, brought me to the realization that my calling this lifetime is to "heal, empower and support" people. It was something I was already big at- I had been, till that point, doing many volunteer and career gigs that made it clear that in all that I've ever done in my life, I was really just trying to fulfil that purpose- my purpose and my calling this lifetime- which was to serve people- and specifically "to heal, empower and support people".
In the meanwhile, I got trained and started working as a Birth doula- and it was and still is an enchanted work- a work from the heart- where I feel that I fall in love every time I'm in the birth room- I mean how many people can say that about their workplace or work in general? I knew however that I had to do more- more Healing than just the hands on pain management during labour and my heart and mind would echo "You are really only here, to be truly helpful, in every way... and to Heal, empower and support people"!
And I knew that I was always drawn to medicine, but not the pharmaceutical pushing, reductionist, reactive kind of medicine- I was not gonna be a representative of the multimillion dollar trap, that aims at giving every man, woman and child an antidepressant (or other pills for that matter), just to support the industry and make money like most conventional doctors today are (I don't mean to generalize though, since there are some amazing good MDs out there and I love and respect the role of MDs in our system, where they are needed & they certainly are- maybe just not so much in primary care, since they have zero training in lifestyle medicine and nutrition!!!) Watch this hilarious vid, about the big Pharma thing I'm talking about! LOL!
And, I was certainly not gonna want to become a doctor for the sake of the egoistic 'title' or 'name'- I was gonna want to prescribe real foods, plant medicines, natural & holistic therapies and things like meditation and take care of the whole body the whole being- mind, body and soul, and teach people to be proactive about there health as opposed to being completely reactive. It was clearer and clearer to me, that I am meant to do and be many things in the world- many many things. And I knew, then- that of the many things- I want to become a Naturopathic physician, a midwife, an educator, an artist, a writer, a gardener (Talk about dreams! I wanna have an organic medicinal farm), a social justice activist and eventually also a mother (perhaps even a wife, usually I just say, who really needs a marriage, when you have maharaaj?, but if it's His Hukam, I'll have to look into it, of course after graduating from med school, Gosh! ATM I have zero time for anything- even typing this post is like a 15 minutes off my study schedule and only possible b/c of the family day long weekend!).
Last summer while I was travelling, and I had this very specific moment, triggered by the suffering I got to witness and the experience in the core of my being, what I'd call the quiver of empathy for another's grief, where I had to pause and ask for Guru Hsrkrishan Sahib Ji Maharaaj to channelize His healing into the world since we as a human consciousness are struggling so much with the various ailments of the mind, body and soul... I did an ardaas and then I asked maharaaj to direct me towards whatever it is that I can do to help, and when I came back home from my travelling, I got invited to an interview for the ND program I had applied for, earlier in the year. And with Maharaaj's immaculate compassion, I made it and so I'm in the program now!
Anyway! I just realized, that I must go back to studying, but so, here's my half baked update, I'm in Naturopathic medical school now, studying my butt off cause I wanna be of seva (service) to the world.
The thing that's keeping me going is my morning saadhnaa- which is Simran meditation & nitnem and my evening meditation (some Kundalini kriyas), Rehraas, Sehaj Paath (just a few hangs each night) and Sukh Asin seva regime. Maharaaj is sustaining me and my practice is keeping me heart centred, grounded in maharaaj's love (I hope/wish/try).
And so, I have soooooo much to be grateful for (in fact we all do)! Dhan Guru Ram Das!
And BTW, Guru Ram Das got me through my Biochemistry prerequisite (that was the last of my prereqs left over from my undergrad, and I finished it in December it was so challenging, talk about Maharaaj's kindness!) and started my ND program in January.
Now that I'm blogging again, I will share more (within reason) and you will find me talking about the miracle that Birth is, from Adi Shakti Birthing Journal or perhaps I will only have time to share some of my art work (all Gurbaanee and sikh related- that's my genre!), or you'll find me talking about the hukamnaamaas I get or just practical sikh life things... I have no idea what I will have to offer- but what I know is that We will all be sustained, since Maharaaj Has our back! The universe has our back!
Dhan Guru Nanak <3 br="">
"There is only ever 2 things- blessings or blessings in disguise" - anonymous.
This post has not been edited- so deal with the typos world! Lemme know if there's anything major ;P