I can't wait to grow deeply in Love with Guru Ji & my Husband lord....
I am not there yet, but I will work on this relationship. I will give it more time, more love, more commitment, and utmost priority.
I lie, I cheat, I make mistakes; I am constantly pulled down by Kaam, by Krodh, by endless influence of Maaya.... but Guru ji never ceases to love me. He never refuses to look at me with the pure love, that non-judgmental, unconditional love, the Amrit Barkha: that nectar inside of pure love - He's always there, in the good and in the bad. He always listens, blesses and comforts me with His affection. I wish I fell for Him much earlier in life and made use of every moment I had with Him- meditating or casually rejoicing His grace, His power & His creation.
If there is something I want real bad- it is to create that love in my heart for Guru Ji- much deeper.... deeper than that which would direct my word, deed and thought towards His Charan Kamal, my head, heart and hand.... much deeper- perhaps in an atomic level. As if I were all His... in every instant- in every situation, in every aspect of my being. And Ironically, I am! I am His~ I have just forgotten it to an extent that I can't even remember, in instances where I seek benefit in cheating, indulging in bodily pleasures.... so much that I am endlessly wandering around, wasting every cycle of birth and death I am blessed with..... and more importantly, wasting every day, every night, every breath of THIS life I am blessed with.............
salok ma 4
Shalok, Fourth Mehl:
kiaa savanaa kiaa jaaganaa guramukh thae paravaan |
Who is asleep, and who is awake? Those who are Gurmukh are approved.
jinaa saas giraas n visarai sae poorae purakh paradhaan |
Those who do not forget the Lord, with each and every breath and morsel of food, are the perfect and famous persons.
karamee sathigur paaeeai anadhin lagai dhiaan |
By His Grace they find the True Guru; night and day, they meditate.
thin kee sangath mil rehaa dharageh paaee maan |
I join the society of those persons, and in so doing, I am honored in the Court of the Lord.
soudhae vaahu vaahu oucharehi outhadhae bhee vaahu karaen |
While asleep, they chant, ""Waaho! Waaho!"", and while awake, they chant, ""Waaho!"" as well.
naanak thae mukh oujalae j nith outh sanmaalaen |1|
O Nanak, radiant are the faces of those, who rise up early each day, and dwell upon the Lord. ||1||