Monday, August 23, 2010

Alright, so I am leaving for a week long retreat and I am soooooo excited that I can't even sleep... Yet I sincerely want things to remain fine here at home god, I get so worried when leaving my beautiful family home, but then again, guru jee is right here and everywhere for that matter so everything will be fine < God willing >

I'll try to share everything I learn from there when I Come back... So hopefully I can meditate and learn and grow my love for guru jee... And share His grace!

Love and light!

Guru Fateh!

Tuesday, August 17, 2010


As I was about to go to bed, I checked my e-mail, and realized that a friend had been away for an event I recommended to her, and that she fiind it amazingly inspirational and filled her with all the more love, for sikhi and Guru ji,
As I was reading about her experiences a fit of pride hit me, I was so happy that one more seeker of love found my beautiful Pita (father) ji maharaaj (Guru ji) as a reserve of true endless love and with goosebumps on my body, I reminded myself to not feel pride in having recommended her this event, in fact the guru wanted to have her there and I am so happy for her. I felt all the blood gushing into my head and this feeling of ultimate love at the feet of my kind father guru Gobind Singh ji maharaaj, Sri guru Granth sahib ji maharaaj.

Jet realized that it is so humbling to see a friend taking my beloved Father as their Guru, my Guru as their Guru....( I've always had a problem with trying to propagate a religion, because, in my view, when you do that you are trying to spread your own faith to people practicing another faith, you are defying the beauty of that particular faith, that they initially followed without knowing it well enough, and I think that all faiths are just as good...) but in this case a seeker of Sikhism, found inspiration, and wants to take Amrit in like a years time, because she has experienced the true sikhi.... It's beautiful, and I almost wanna hug her as tears of love roll down my cheeks out of love and blessings I wanna give to her.... And out of the gratitude I am feeling for the guru himself... for having helped me and her and the entire world, for dawning upon us the truth of life and existence....
Well, somehow, I have been singing this one prayer that I used to sing in school and it has been stuck in my head ever-since I read that e-mail, and it is really worth sharing:

Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury,pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen

I'm so happy and so thankful to God and the Guru!

Love light and blessings =)
Take Care!

Waheguru ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru ji ki Fateh!

Saturday, August 14, 2010


The Guru's love is beautiful, it really is... its like a quicksand, where I stepped in, just a little while ago, and it is totally drawing me in...
Its so true that  when you take one step towards the Guru, He takes thousands of steps towards you:

"Charan saran Gur ek painda jaaeh chal, Satgur kot paindaa aageh hoeh layt hai
If you take one step towards the Guru, The Guru will take millions of steps to welcome you."

It really is true, now I know for a really is
I did not even realize while I was on my way, I did not realize when I was totally sold out to everything I do and I am now... something yesterday, suddenly reminded me of the day I set out on this path, I was really only ready to buy the idea of Loving the divine, and that was it..and I don't know when I started keeping the Rehit, as much as I could, in that moment...
If you've been reading my blog, you might remember me talking about my rant against keeping Kesh, and how I hate to have them in my armpits and what not, ... Oh well, I don't see a problem with hair anymore, I've started to like it, I've started to love myself just the way God has made me... a few nights ago, I was getting ready for a party, and I was in my dressing room, applying make-up, and all of a sudden, I (loudly) started reminding myself that God Made me the best of what I can be and that all my make-up and stuff, is only going to make me look a little bit worse the best, that Guru ji and God have made me ....  I can't believe my Ardaas has been answered, and I am at the least ready to buy the basic concepts of the Sikh lifestyle...
well, I went for the Friday Morning Amrit vela event, I guess third/ fourth time in a row... beautiful, just awesome, after I was home, I played Anadho Anadh Ghanaa again, I suspect I play it and sing it every-time I'm really happy and satisfied...
   I feel like I should make an effort to regularly do my own amrit vela meditations, like I once did; I can... I really could at least try harder...

Guru ji Loves me so much that I can never thank Him enough...
sometimes, I wonder to myself, what would I be if I weren't ever exposed to Sikhi-Sikhi, Like the real Sikhi, that I never knew existed... I'd probably be nothing, just an ordinary drugged up silly kid, rolling on other people'd wishes, dreams and whatever not, with nothing to call my own, not even my own word, deed and thought....
I'm so grateful to the Universe for the blessings it has showered upon me, and to Guru jee, for making me His Daughter!

I am full of Him, His love, His blessings and everything I have ever owned as mine, belongs to Him... I am His, This body, this soul, this computer, this bed, this room, everything really is His...
guru ji is pure Love, the love I was born out of, the love I live for, and in, the Love I breath in....

Love and Light =)
Sat Nam!

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Friday mornings, I was finally successful, making it to the Amrit vela Morning in the Gurdwara, organized the Local Sikh youth... two times in a row....It was nice, I wore all white, and I tied my scarf thing, like a turban, because there was no one to answer, face or confront any thing to....
It was nice...nice because I and the lord were together! Chanting, humming, singing... doing Nitnem banis... It was nothing less than a date!
I have been wondering for a bit about just simple things, like what do I really want... What do I want from God, this path, myself...I don't have answers or explanations, but I want something, like an unknown state of mind- its more like a 'state of mind' really, because for sure it is not a material outcome or some thing that I can posses.
The Guru is beautiful! I wanna feel His presence inside of me, and in everyone and everything I see....

You know something, I love these Amrit vela events, they're so cool, basically, you are not there for social interaction or to see someone, its so much of an independent thing, and yet it is very collective almost like a morning Mass, I guess that is what Sangat is all about, you all have your own challenges, your own struggle, and yet you are all collectively putting up the effort to change it, for the better...

Anyways, I kinda wanted to let you know, I've not been to regular in terms of blogging, (generally I try making it twice a week) well, the thing is, I love writing, but I think I've been whining for a while, most of my blog posts since a little bit have been basically whining about my challenges, and lack of spiritual progress... and when I look back at them I feel only one thing....this is so not me....apparently, I am not someone who whines and complains at all... I've always been a Happy bird (in my friends words...) and I really am, even when I am sitting alone here, typing, I am pretty satisfied and happy for that matter... but I think, I've been over-thinking for a while, because of all this opposition I face when I am trying to be who I am now as opposed to who I was a year ago....

Life is interesting, I love my days out of home now...I kinda love school, work, just chilling; but back home things have been warming up a bit....It is that time of the year, when we have a lot of guests over, I like Guests, but parts of my parents families are very different than me and they seem to oppose the 'Sikhi fever' me and my brother have! Too much opposition, too much mess, and I am practicing patience till the neck, so that I don't offend anyone...
Since so long, I've been wanting this constant attack of brainwashing to end, but then I think maybe guru jee wants me to cultivate Patience....

I think I'm really happy, because I've stuck around and chosen to struggle regardless, this tells me (Pat on my back!) that I probably really love Guru jee and wanna give a a sincere try!

I gotta love my life! It really is cool, and interesting ...

Thank you God! I love you!
Thank you World! You're a blessing.... Thank you life, you're one precious gift!!!!

I'll go to bed now, really tired and sleepy!
 Thanks for reading...
Thanks for stopping by by flickr as well! (if you did!)

May Guru jee bless the world =)
Sat Nam!
Guru Fateh!