25 hours of Silence

 I am a total chatterbox... If you wanna see someone who socializes ALL the time and talks all the time- you must come straight to me! Really, no jokes there... but here's the deal, I've always found that I waste my energy talking- I feel that chatting abd blabbing all the time really takes away from your Spirituality. Yet I am Guilty, of doing just that...
Silence, has always been a sign of Spiritual Wisdom, stability & Power traditionally. Every morning, when I read through the following lines from Sri Anand Sahib, I feel a need to limit the use of my tongue to only reciting Gurbani with it...

 ay rasnaa too an ras raach rahee tayree pi-aas na jaa-ay.

O my tongue, you are engrossed in other tastes, but your thirsty desire is not quenched.

 pi-aas na jaa-ay horat kitai jichar har ras palai na paa-ay.

Your thirst shall not be quenched by any means, until you attain the subtle essence of the Lord.

 har ras paa-ay palai pee-ai har ras bahurh na tarisnaa laagai aa-ay.

If you do obtain the subtle essence of the Lord, and drink in this essence of the Lord, you shall not be troubled by desire again.

 ayhu har ras karmee paa-ee-ai satgur milai jis aa-ay.

This subtle essence of the Lord is obtained by good karma, when one comes to meet with the True Guru.

 kahai naanak hor an ras sabh veesray jaa har vasai man aa-ay. ||32||

Says Nanak, all other tastes and essences are forgotten, when the Lord comes to dwell within the mind. ||32||

Now Reading through the translation one might think that Guru Jee is talking about 'tastes' that the an individual is driven after, by his/her tongue. But Guru jee often says things that could have multiple meanings...To me, my tongue is pretty good when it comes to driving me crazy over food, well, I mean I have not been tempted to eat Meat, eggs or any intoxicants for really long now (Waheguru!) but the thirst of my tongue that is not quenches is Blabbing for no real reason, and not realizing when doing so!

I've always found (remember my story from the retreat, where I came across a Kaur who made me realize how powerful Silence is...?) silence very powerful, almost a part of Spirituality...

To me, Silence helps you focus on listening, receiving and turning inwards, to your spirit...to the part of you that has the Light of God...Hence Silence helps you seek the Light of God... I've experienced Silence before, but never to this level, fighting the desire to speak and turning inwards, to listen to the subtle Transcendence is a pure blessing- and I will challenge myself to it!!! And this challenge is not just for me to seek my Spiritual energy, but also help raise awareness & money for the thousands of children in central Africa who have been abducted by Joseph Kony and his rebel army. The money I raise will fund The Invisible Children Protection Plan -- a strategy to protect innocent people from the brutal violence of the LRA.

http://ic.stayclassy.org/member/ic-fundraising?fcid=10486

PLEASE HELP ME IN THIS CAUSE AND DONATE FOR THESE INNOCENT CHILDREN...

I will be participating in Invisible Children's national awareness event called 25, on April 25th. Thousands around the world will be silent, using our voices (by not using them) to speak out against this 25-year-long war.

Please donate and tell others about my page any way you can: Facebook, Twitter... or even word of mouth (you remember what that is, right? Phone calls. Knocking on doors. Whatever you've gotta do.)

And join me on April 25th, wherever you are, in staying silent for 25 hours. Together, we will put an end to 25 years of war. Sign up at www.invisiblechildren.com

Love and Light

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

Toddling towards His Charan Kamal...

Toddling here on this road, I lost perception of my pace...

I lost some relationships, and made newer ones...

I felt some unimaginable & indescribable emotions...

I lost count of time

And I lost myself to Him... I guess, while defeating all the evil in me...

while gaining the most Transcendental yet whimsical perception of Life, love, the universe, & maybe every single thing that has ever existed... 

He made me Me, He made me Love being myself...

And He gave me the bliss in knowing myself as His...
In His feet I found all the fun and bliss of the world~ I adore life-Thanks to my Lord God

I really only want my heart to always Love and adore Him...

His 'Charan Kamal di aas' is all I want
Oh Guru jee, please bless us with the love of your holy Charan Kamal

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Acceptance and surrender... I adore Guru jee for blessing me, and showing me the light- I have never found it easy to accept or to let go, and this path has transformed me completely* Check Out what Guru Arjan Dev Ji Maharaaj blessed us with today =)

JAITSREE, FIFTH MEHL:

After wandering through so many incarnations, I have come to Your Sanctuary. Save me — lift my body up out of the deep, dark pit of the world, and attach me to Your feet. || 1 || Pause || I do not know anything about spiritual wisdom, meditation or karma, and my way of life is not clean and pure. Please attach me to the hem of the robe of the Saadh Sangat, the Company of the Holy; help me to cross over the terrible river. || 1 || Comforts, riches and the sweet pleasures of Maya — do not implant these within your mind. Slave Nanak is satisfied and satiated by the Blessed Vision of the Lord’s Darshan; his only ornamentation is the love of the Lord’s Name. || 2 || 8 || 12 ||

I want to thank my friend Anam Hameed, for giving me the idea of taking baby steps, and showing me the direction~ well, so here's what happened... I guess before New Years, I was on Phone with Anam, and I mentioned  how I wanted to go so far in this spiritual path, but I feel I am a bit hollow from the core in terms of my relationship with Guru Jee; Anam is a devout Muslim, she prays 5 times a day and I see strength in that- I feel that it is very hard to get started- Plus for me, Sikhi is the way I want to live forever, every breath of my life, without fail- and yet I was failing quite miserably at that time. I had the 5 K's going, I had Simran, Sangat, Seva, lifestlye, veechar... thing going, but my daily spiritual practice lacked the experience of being in Guru jee's Charan Kamal- so the point is, I knew and did my Nitnem, but not like I should be doing- it was irregular, and usually informal- from my iPod while I was on transit, trying to get to places... I had been trying to change that but I guess I was too lazy & too unmotivated to get up @ Amrit Vela- Anam suggested that I should take baby steps & that I should at least make my evening nitnem regular and the build it upto the level that satisfies me, and then go from there
Well, thats where my Evening Nitnem regime started- usually I get overboard and read a whole bunch of extra banis, just b/c I seem to love singing for my Guru- I just love being in that moment.... It is like a love dialogue   b/w me & Guru jee~ and the evening Nitnem has changed my life. Nothing can be more satisfying and enlightening as Gurubani. And I am ever so grateful to Guru jee, Sri Akaal Purakh and all those who support me in this path- Thank you all- Thank you Anam & KU Singhania (you know who you are girls!)
Gurbani has melted my heart and answered my prayer- I always used to ask for blessing me with more 'Pyaas'- the thirst for Guru Jee & His love... I think I have been made thirsty.... and this heart ache and thirst needs to become worse by the day.... the moment I have this this call answered, or this thirst satisfied, I will once again fall out of Sikhi, out of the 'drive' to have a spiritual practice... That longing, that heartache, is my pathway towards Him, it is what replenishes and keeps faith from wilting away.... But Like I always say, Guru jee will never ever ever ever ever let go of me...
For those of you out there hanging somewhere in the borderline to the Guru's house just like me, Guys, Today I believe, soon you will too- Guru jee is such a sweetheart, He really cares, if you wish to be His baby, He will make a way for you to get there- Guru jee holds on to us tighter than we ever can imagine~


Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa,  Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh
Sri Akaal Purakh Ji Sahai! 

Dawn

My mind is so wary, without His Darshan;
Without the Sangat, I have no focus or motivation....
With the false persona & fake faces, I feel hollower than the Bamboo
And my Heart knows none but Him & without a known reason, I wander around His door, despite the fact that I am fully aware of my polluted consciousness and blurred vision for the For the Future...

Guru Jee, Now I need you; Want is not the question anymore-
I love you to the core~
Even when I know I am meant to be where I am & that I don't deserve a thing...
All day I think about you... I wait for the moment when I get to be with you My Master~
All day- I wait for the dawn
I wait till I sing my heart out to you
I wait till I can get over with the pain and darkness my day entails-
I see you in every moment,
Until I come down to my knees for you...
To sing my life, my world, my body, my soul, my universe out to you~
Oh my Guru!
***
I think the Evening Nitnem Regime is really working (Waheguru!) It makes me want to be with Guru jee all the more... It makes me more determined to Strive towards Sikhi, It replenishes my faith and roots it stronger than ever before... I am so grateful~
"To find the Guru is a great boon: without Him, we are lost, like a moth that is attracted by the lamp and falls into the flame. Delusion is the lamp, we are the moth flying around the flame. We fall. But thanks to the wisdom of the Guru, some of us are saved."
- Bhagat Kabir Ji (1440-1518), India

In the last post I mentioned that my path is getting harder and full of tests- LOL but yes it sees to be true- but looking back into how I stepped in this journey, I know(& I have proven to myself!) that:
"If a man will begin in certainties he shall end in doubts; but if he will begin in doubts he shall end in certainties"
-Francis Bacon(1561-1626), England
"To undertake a genuine spiritual path is not to avoid difficulties but to learn the art of making mistakes wakefully, to bring them to the transformative power of our heart."
-Jack Cornfield (born 1945), USA

Wow, I just came to scribble a bit in here, b/c I was unable to focus while trying to prepare for my exam that is tomorrow~ It seems like Focus/ focusing for me as an emotion  is tied down with Guru jee, I seem to feel even Studying as an aspect of my Spirituality- I can clearly tell what distracts me from Guru jee~ Studying is not one for some reason. Whoa I'm an odd-nerdy kid!

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh
Sri Akaal Purakh Ji Sahai =)

Sanctuary of the Imperishable Lord God

Starting to realize, that as my evening Nitnem has been becoming longer and more & more regular... It is getting harder and harder to keep up with all the aspects of Sikhi- Well, my point is that as you step up the ladder, get promotions, you probably also need to work harder to be the achiever you'd like to be.

I'm not complaining- just stating that the grip of the 5 evil vakaars has been becoming stronger- I feel the pressure to work against them, while they somehow rise =(

Nonetheless, Guru jee, as I always say (& even brag) is never ever going to let go of me- He never gives up on us- we are the feeble minded ones who do, if ever! 

This Shabad is by Guru Arjan Dev Ji in Salok Sehshritee on Pannaa 1358

isr msœk rK´w pwrbRhmM hsœ kwXw rK´w prmysÍrh ]

sir masthak rakhyaa paarabrehama(n) hasth kaayaa rakhyaa paramaesvareh ||

The Supreme Lord God has procted my head and forehead; the Transcendent Lord has protected my hands and body.

Awqm rK´w gopwl suAwmI Dn crx rK´w jgdIsÍrh ]

aatham rakhyaa gopaal suaamee dhhan charan rakhyaa jagadheesvareh ||

God, my Lord and Master, has saved my soul; the Lord of the Universe has saved my wealth and feet.

srb rK´w gur dXwlh BY dUK ibnwsnh ]

sarab rakhyaa gur dhayaaleh bhai dhookh binaasaneh ||

The Merciful Guru has protected everything, and destroyed my fear and suffering.

Bgiq vCl AnwQ nwQy srix nwnk purK Acuqh ]52]

bhagath vashhal anaathh naathhae saran naanak purakh achutheh ||52||

God is the Lover of His devotees, the Master of the masterless. Nanak has entered the Sanctuary of the Imperishable Primal Lord God. ||52||

To me, this shabad is the declaration of my surrender unto the holy charan kamal of my Naath- all an anaath needs in this world and beyond-- His sharan! Vaheguru ji ka Khlalsa  Vahguru ji ki Fateh!