Friday mornings, I was finally successful, making it to the Amrit vela Morning in the Gurdwara, organized the Local Sikh youth... two times in a row....It was nice, I wore all white, and I tied my scarf thing, like a turban, because there was no one to answer, face or confront any thing to....
It was nice...nice because I and the lord were together! Chanting, humming, singing... doing Nitnem banis... It was nothing less than a date!
I have been wondering for a bit about just simple things, like what do I really want... What do I want from God, this path, myself...I don't have answers or explanations, but I want something, like an unknown state of mind- its more like a 'state of mind' really, because for sure it is not a material outcome or some thing that I can posses.
The Guru is beautiful! I wanna feel His presence inside of me, and in everyone and everything I see....

You know something, I love these Amrit vela events, they're so cool, basically, you are not there for social interaction or to see someone, its so much of an independent thing, and yet it is very collective almost like a morning Mass, I guess that is what Sangat is all about, you all have your own challenges, your own struggle, and yet you are all collectively putting up the effort to change it, for the better...

Anyways, I kinda wanted to let you know, I've not been to regular in terms of blogging, (generally I try making it twice a week) well, the thing is, I love writing, but I think I've been whining for a while, most of my blog posts since a little bit have been basically whining about my challenges, and lack of spiritual progress... and when I look back at them I feel only one thing....this is so not me....apparently, I am not someone who whines and complains at all... I've always been a Happy bird (in my friends words...) and I really am, even when I am sitting alone here, typing, I am pretty satisfied and happy for that matter... but I think, I've been over-thinking for a while, because of all this opposition I face when I am trying to be who I am now as opposed to who I was a year ago....

Life is interesting, I love my days out of home now...I kinda love school, work, just chilling; but back home things have been warming up a bit....It is that time of the year, when we have a lot of guests over, I like Guests, but parts of my parents families are very different than me and they seem to oppose the 'Sikhi fever' me and my brother have! Too much opposition, too much mess, and I am practicing patience till the neck, so that I don't offend anyone...
Since so long, I've been wanting this constant attack of brainwashing to end, but then I think maybe guru jee wants me to cultivate Patience....

I think I'm really happy, because I've stuck around and chosen to struggle regardless, this tells me (Pat on my back!) that I probably really love Guru jee and wanna give a a sincere try!

I gotta love my life! It really is cool, and interesting ...

Thank you God! I love you!
=)
Thank you World! You're a blessing.... Thank you life, you're one precious gift!!!!

I'll go to bed now, really tired and sleepy!
 Thanks for reading...
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May Guru jee bless the world =)
Sat Nam!
Guru Fateh!