Gur Kirpa - Grace!

One of my Sisters' friend called,
She talked to me about meditating, about being so different, about being labeled as crazy, just because of our inclination to Spirituality....
As we were talking, I got the impression that to her, I had the answers.....the answers to how does it all feel.....
Answers to things like it is understandable to give up, when being labeled as 'crazy'....for being Spiritual

Something tells me, that We, as South Asians, come from a culture of "Following".....following the Standards set by out societies, our families...our Nation....As if we were nothing like ourselves..... things like arranged marriages, things like, I'll do this or that b/c my parents would like me to.....
I've always, from day one as a Sikh, felt that  it is too hard for us to be ourselves, and to follow our Souls.... But unless you do just that, you loose....you give up....you are nothing but a Show piece....for people to see and enjoy!

I always wanna take that chance, to feel and follow my Soul....I've failed, I've fallen down....but I've risen and walked up again..... With Guru jee's grace...

And one thing I've also learnt is that everything has a set timing, a set pattern as it all works out.... My Turban issue will also work out when it precisely has to...just like the initial Taking Amrit happened....and I do not really wanna interrupt God's Will.....
I'm trying to feel my Souls perception.....b/c when my soul Endeavors to do something, it will happen no matter what....and for that The True Guru's Grace is needed!

Grace is something you can never get, but only be given.

There's no way to earn it or deserve it or bring it about 

anymore than you can deserve the taste of raspberries 

and cream or earn good looks or bring about your own birth.

-Frederick Buechner (Wishful Thinking)

 

Last night, I was Singing to myself, as if immersed in the Shabad- Saajanarraa Maeraa Saajanarraa  

and actually was absorbed in meditation around this Shabad mentally, by just imagining Guru jee beside me...and He really was...I felt him...and when I stopped, was still somehow, humming the tune deep in somewhere....and that's when I grabbed a book and found this Quote- something reminded me of Jesus' last words- when He was being Hung on the Cross- “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34), and somehow, Guru Arjan Dev ji Maharaaj come to my mind....saying His last words on the Hot plate "Meetha Lagey tera Bhaana"......

And I knew......

I knew what my Soul was trying to tell me since soooo many days.....

Accept the Will of God Girl! Accept it!

Everything Happens with Gur Kirpa!

His Grace, His blessing....

Having this crazy and incomplete Spirituality bugs me.....it really does, But I can progress, only if I accept it as the will of God, if I embrace it all as mine.......

Anyway, Went on a huge tangent there! I was talking about this friend of my sister who called and wanted to know my experiences..... I feel that people think that I am so cool and clear about what I want.....but I am not.....hahaha! But as we were talking, there was a point where she asked me that She'd never have time to actually feel and remember God at all times.....I came to a standing, that at some point during being God's own Child...and acknowledging that He is all...He is everything we need, you- your soul finds a place, a balance- some sort of Harmony, where You are with your Boss/ friends, colleagues but your inside is still on God, hooked in His Meditation, in  singing His praise..... and that really happens...

But I wonder, how would I know? why am I so confident about all this? Have I experienced any of it?

I don't know! Maybe I have....but the whole Problem is that I've had everything Haphazardly....

That's what I think my Spirituality is- Haphazard!

Anyway....

I wanna work on this!

I have decided to do a 40 day Sadhana, I've been preparing my mind for it since a While, but due to my chronic Insomnia I fail all the time..... But this time I am determined, I'll work out a lot during the day, so that I can sleep better at night.... I'll try to give it what it takes!

At least, I'll try, the rest is in the hands of God, 

His will..... 

This reminds me of Anand Sahib, I always feel like thats the way we sould be living our lives according to  Guru Amar Daas jee.... I feel like its the 5th Bani of our Nitnem, b/c it directs us to the new day with all the things we need to know and do for the day...as if Guru jee writes a prescription for imbibing the days' grace and tapping its endless potential, never forgetting God while doing so......

Guru jee is just so beautiful! I wish I could love him better, but really I can't ever love Him enough, Can I?

=)

Take Care 

Love, light and blessings!

(even though I can't quite give any..... as far as I know!)