I am Blessed....
I sometimes get such chances, as today, I am at somebody's house, doing the night seva at an Akhand Paath.(listening to the Paath, waking the Gyani jee's up, whose duty is comming up, making tea/coffee for those who get on/off Scriptral reading duty...etc...)
But there is something about my duty , that makes me think that it is not a seva.... Generally, doing a thing like this is a great opportunity to earn The Guru's Khushi (Happiness/ pleasing Guru),
I am happy that the Guru gives me such chances and blessings, but do I really deserve them?... do I perform my duty well enough to be offered such blessings this often?
Well, last time was better, and it was a few months ago..... I was at least hearing the paath with all my heart..... unlike today, I guess I am a bit tired and this was like last minute notice, so I am under-slept too....I can do all my duties, but I guess I am just getting moody towards the end now....
I get scared at the fact that I am so moody about things.... I really am, and my biggest fear is what if a day of the sort, comes to my life when I lose interest for Sikhi...
Guys, Here is a link to the PDF of this really cool book about Sikhi, written in simple English, called Bandgi Nama, I've been reading it for a while, and I've not yet finished it, but it is basically almost every thing we wanna know as Curious keeners seeking Sikhism!
http://www.esikhs.com/articles/Bandgi_Nama.pdf
Check it out, read if you can..... I'm sure you'll be glad you read it, if you do!
Take Care!
Thank you Hapiness!
ReplyDeleteI just to a look at the pdf and it seems really interesting. I will make an effort to read it.
And I think your Akhand Paath duty was a real seva since you did even though it was a last minute thing and you were underslept. You could have said "No, I'm sorry but I can't this time" but you didn't. I think maybe you heard the paath with all your heart anyway, maybe your mind doesn't realize it just yet.
Take care!
Dear Happy - if you have a big fear, try to look at it like it's a letter to you. Examine it! Is there any sense in it? What is it trying to tell you? Fears and feelings aren't here to make life hard, they are a help. They always have a message. Ask your fear what it's message is - meditate on it! If you try to push it away it will try harder to get your attention. See it as something to help you stay with Sikhi. This too is a gift of the universe. :) much love!
ReplyDeleteThank You G and Pimu!
ReplyDelete@ G : thanks! You are too kind! and yes I feel like that is a positive way of viewing this scenario... I don't know what to say.... =)
@ Pimu: you ar right, I should meditate on it and find the truth of my fear.... you know what the problem is though, I do not know how to meditate on a thing like this, or maybe I am too scared to look into this fear....I don't want it to ruin me ... maybe, I need help with this....or maybe I need to give it time....
Thanks for your response guys! your feedback means a lot to me!
=) thanks for being such an encouragement and support, both of you!