Guru jee's Singhnis~

Yesterday morning, I walked into the hospital (another one of my volunteer jobs), and a Singhni friend of mine who works there on Wednesday nights, was walking out. I was running late and I guess so was she (usually at that time, she has her her hubby outside, waiting to pick her up!)…

Since I was running late, my hair was down, and I had my hood on. In the car, I hardly had time to wear my jacket, socks and boots! Well, basically I don’t wear a Dastaar, I just wear my headgear that I call a ‘Scarfie Thingie’. To people, I might be a muslim or a hijabi… but really I am a Sikh or at least I’m trying to become one.

When I am without my scarfie thingie, I think that Singhs/ Singhnis would probably judge me thinking that I probably don’t get up in time or do my hair properly or just simple am lazy or a bad Sikh.

To me Dastaar wans’t something I faught for too much, In order to be a sikh I have to disbey my Duniavi(worldly) family and rebel. I like it~ really I like having to fight for what I want, It makes me realize how bad I want something and It helps me get through the test of ’ you don’t need support of encouragement for something you want real real bad!’. When Dastaar or for that matter the scarfie thingie came in my agenda, it was more like an accessory to feel like a Sikh. To me External Paraphernalia doesn’t make you a Sikh, its what is inside. And yet it is important, or maybe somewhere deep in my heart, I do wear a Dastaar, its just that only Guru Jee sees it. It is not for the others. For some reason, I don’t feel ready to wear a dastaar for the others, I think that I get caught up in the external more that I should, and so Wearing a dastaar would shift my focus from Nitnem, Simran and internal Sikhi~ to the external. External is easier to achieve than the internal, and so I’d want to first establish an internal connection and then look into the external…. I don’t wanna have a weak core and show on the outside that I am strongly connected. Maybe I don’t know my own emotions about this clearly~ But well- its all GurParsaad really, Isn’t it?

Well, So the Singhani friend of mine… to my surprize, I did not need to explain anything to her, even though I was trying… Anyway, She hugged me, and kissed me on my cheek without any words from either of us. We both knew we were running late… But that hug, w/o the need to explain or talk, and that kiss on my cheek… was pure love w/o any judgement of wether or not I was a good Sikh…

…..that hug just touched my heart.

I always see that Singhnis are so genuine, so giving… so loving and so non-judgemental… that they really are Guru jee’s roop (face)~

This wasn’t the first time I realized this… but it was one of the many times that Guru jee came, looked into my eyes, and without any words/ questions or concerns… He hugged me nice and tight and left me mezmerized!