Showers of Blessings

Hello there!

I apologize, I totally forgot to say something super important in my last post.
Well, I forgot to say that I am not the happiest person in the world at all! That's just how my friends perceive me as, probably because I am bad at sharing sad stuff with others, because I feel that by doing so, I will spread sadness around, and that is, I guess of no use!
Secret: when I am actually sad, I scribble the word HAPPINESS on pieces of paper, endlessly, until I am happy again (Silly me!), or just break down in a long heart felt Ardaas, where I speak like a baby directly to God (and Guru jee) about how I feel and what would I like to see the situation turn out as.
Also, if you actually thought I was a super happy person, I am actually a cry baby! =P

Well, the point is that no one is always happy. Guru jee has given us this life to test us, and Sorrow is a test, it is essential, or else we'd not know how valuable happiness is.... Whacha say? Right, isn't it?
Plus it is not bad to be sad, you gotta see how that feels sometimes! 

Anyways, Today I wanted to talk about something that I am still hesitant to share... probably because I think when you get chances to do seva, and you put the word out there, it might sound like bragging or being proud/ egotistical about it. But What do you guys think? Do you think that if I am telling you how many blessings I've been getting, by getting chances to help people with Disabilities in my University, is my desire to share this, a sign of Ego or pride?
Please let me know, I really wanna know....b/c I can't sense these things easily, partly because I am not quite feeling that way.... I dont know!

Okay, so what I wanted to say, was that I got a few more volunteer / helping out roles through the Centre for Disability services in my University. I help some visually impaired people get to their appointments, and someone with his research. I love talking to them, helping them, escorting them to classes and appointments. And I don't do the greatest job, sometimes, we have to walk up and down the hill to find out where the offices or classes are, and  I make mistakes at finding places. And, so far I seem to be liked, or forgiven, b/c afterall, I am friends with them, before anything else!
A few hours ago, I was replying someones' e-mail and committing to help 'be his eyes' in the library as he does some research for his phil Paper. He wrote in his e-mail, that"I am blind as a bat and I basically need a pair of eyes, do you wanna help out?" and I giggled to myself..... thinking about How blind is a Bat....
But then I was surrounded by a question, "Why would God Shower me with so many blessings, when I least deserve them, especially at a time when I am not even performing my Spiritual duties well, not even staying with Guru jee's feet, not even doing my Nitnem (daily prayers) the way I should be.......
Simran, Why do you wanna help?
and I said that to myself a few times...."
And then My inner voice said,   ".......... mmmm... because I have so many disabilities, so many, the only thing is, you don't ever notice them...."

Isn't that true, I really believe that we all suffer from something or the other, we all have noticeable or non-noticeable disabilities, or sufferings, if I don't have a fever, I have the biggest disease in the world, the "Haumey da rog" meaning Ego disease; if I don't have physical leprosy, I have mental leprosy- which makes me unavailable for seva (Selfless Service of Humanity) ; If my legs work perfectly fine, I have the moral disability, when I refuse to stand up for the rights of others.
If I can see perfectly, I have my minds eyes completely blind- blind to the sorrow of the others, blind to faith, blind to see poverty, blind - completely blind, maybe even blind as a bat- that I just can't see how much I hurt others, when I am mad at them, or how irresponsible I can be, when I let the people I see at the Sky-train Station every day, inject themselves with crap and not do anything about it...
We have so many disabilities, and yet we can not see them, because we choose to keep our 'perfectly working eyes' closed
 

OMG!
I'm sorry if that was egotistical....but I really cried when typing it- I'm glad I did... just putting it down as a Journal entry, makes me think and clear up my thoughts.... Its a really good experience!

****
See I told  you I'm a cry baby!
Okay, so I gotta go study I have my Genetics Midterm Monday morning, soooo scared, not even done half the prep yet!

Love and Light
Hugs =)

Guru Fateh jee!

Paving the path

Amazingly, going through my memories folder, and yearbooks from high School and elementary school; where I got friends I'd never probably see again to write personal messages for me... has some messages/ complements I've always gotten from various different people.
One consistent complement/ message, that comes up in almost ever entry (or at least 90% of them), is "You are the Happiest person I've ever met...", "You're like a ball of sunshine in my life, please keep in touch"..., "Super happy and cheerful!"

While I was flipping through, I was wondering if I really am the happiest one out there, or is that just my way of encountering people... hmm, after thinking about it a bit.. I know that it is certainly not a mask I wear when in contact with people, because It is just such an innate tendency in me, to never spread the sad part of things, unless it really bugs me (which almost never happens in reality). I do admit that I seem like a sad writer, poet and blogger because I write about something I am often not doing great at!(I don't know if that makes sense, but yeah!) I also admit that no one is an ultimate happiness (unless they are almost in a Godly state), I certainly am not!

So I guess, here are some secrets behind being the "Happiest person my fellows have ever seen"

1) Never indulge in something you are not truly passionate about , try and make smart choices: Choose what you want to do, with life, career, Work, volunteer jobs, and what ever else you indulge yourself into. At the end of the day, it is you who matters the most, you who is gonna live with the experiences you gather. So better please yourself than the people in your life! Feed your passions and love life!

2) Live for yourself first, before you live for the others.  Give yourself some of your own time. We often forget to do that, we are wayyyy too busy for ourselves, but do we have to be?
 Most people I work with tend to be Workaholics, obviously, research jobs,  studying, volunteerism, wanting/ trying to become a doctor...etc. etc. but really, sometimes the best example of us, ignoring ourselves for work, I've seen is, holding your bladder until a few more pages of reading/ report / work/ teaching are just about done (LOL) but it's true! I've talked to some people, and we all admit doing that on a daily basis (You know what's funny I'm doing that right now too!). Just making yourself a priority guarantees so much happiness.

3) Always give yourself some "Me- time": Reflect, explore yourself and do what you love the most, whenever possible. When you actually need to be sad, often it is really only your  soul needed to be recharged, just meditate, feel good about yourself, love being in your own body... do what you love the most. Just be yourself, and be with yourself.  Again, just give yourself your own time!

4) Smile often: Smile at strangers, make friends everywhere, even when using public Transit; just be friendly and be yourself! You'll have a much greater chance of self exploration if you take it easy.
I have so many people I've learnt from, just while we talked on the transit, simply because I was not locked in a box with a bunch of strangers, they all had the light of God in them, and hence we at least needed to chat a teeny bit! (I don't know how to say that better)

5) Don't be too uptight about what you feel about stuff: Living life in your terms and living upto your principles is cool, but being too uptight about your beliefs, especially when it comes to others is not very healthy.  Be flexible in your approach to the world. Everyone has a life of their own, and hence choices, beliefs and Morals of their own!
In the hospital that I volunteer at, a few weeks ago, a mentally disabled person, came behind my counter and started hugging me. At that quick moment, I had to decide if this was a problem for me or not. well, I was actually trapped between the counter and him, and that can be a hazardous thing (also, because he has been seen throwing Fits on people) and I was working on something, so I was at first surprised and even scared by the hug, but I quickly realized that I should not show resistance to his hugs, simply because all he wants is love. I hugged him back! Now I know some people who'd be totally uptight about it and would freak out at him, simply because they don't wanna take the risk of being exposed to a fit or something, but sometimes, if you handle the situation well, things will not go so wrong afterall... Remember that life is all about love, if a love-filled flexible approach can help, let it help you!
6)Be true to yourself, and love yourself regardless of 'the things you hate about yourself '!
This as well, is easier said than done,  but self- exploration, and following your conscience can help!
“Every human has four endowments- self awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom... The power to choose, to respond, to change.”

 Stephen R. Covey quotes

Also, Have your own principles, beliefs and everything else you like, but  don't get too engrossed in the do's and dont's of your own religion, so to say; live it with all your will...don't compromise who you are with who you'd ideally be!

7) Never judge others! (I know this is easier said than done, and we all judge, good &/or bad) - You do not have the right to judge others, maybe not even yourself.
Judging people, can be corrosive to your own health, Oh and judging and gossiping (/back-biting) is a big no-no!
Well, I can quote something I read somewhere in this one, (b/c I think it has a profound point there!)

"We all need to take a step back and stop judging each other. And I think for some  people, when that societal pressure is lifted away, they may be able to see themselves in a  new light, a less harsh one. A little more love, a little more understanding - Guru Sahib can  bring a king of the world down to the level of a pauper, so why not a spiritual man down to  the level of a sinner? In less time than it takes to blink your eye, a lifetime's worth of  kamaaee (Spiritual earning) can be lost with a single action or thought. it can happen to anyone. we need to  stop believing we know everything about a person's intentions and jeevan (Spiritually enlightenment status, so to say) just because of  something we've seen them do. we can't judge who has what and how much Kirpa (Grace). In the  end, it'll be us, the ones pointing the finger, who will be judged more harshly."

BONUS) Over the past year and a half, on several  different occasions I have 'lost a perception of who I truly am', and I had to start over... Several times, we are not totally aware of who we are, and what is it to 'be yourself', but life is a journey, explore; strive for the better, not because you are not good enough, but because you wanna be more closer to your ideal self. Also, when it comes to life, it does not harm to 'live to love', and to think of life as love. It is best to have inclinations, faith and respect for something (maybe even a religious path), but it is vital for your survival (in that path), to choose to follow what you personally resonate with only, it's okay if Spiritual progress takes time, but it is not okay to follow something for the wrong reasons, blind faith can only truly originate when you have taken time to think it all out and meditated in every aspect of your discipleship, to see if it resonates with you personally. Your social environment, inclination to a certain thought current or faith, does not determine who you really are. You do!
And there are no such things as 'Impossible dreams', or 'Destined boundaries', we are here to make our own trajectories, and walk on out own paths.
(Don't take me wrong, I am not promoting, changing a faith to make your own path; I am talking happiness, life and career wise)
I have, all my childhood, thought that if we really want something to happen, we can make it happen, if we are determined enough... and hence, to me, there are no 'destined boundaries' on the path of your life. Because you pave that path... it is your path!

Love and light!

=)
Oh and I hope you all had a happy Bandi Chod divas (Diwali)
(Brief History on:  http://sikhism.about.com/od/commemorativecelebrations/a/Bandi_Chhor.htm )

And I clicked this to wish you all Happy Bandi Chod divas

May we all light a lamp of love, within our own hearts and minds for the Guru jee's charan-kamal, and forever be His disciples- for if there is liberated bondage free life, it is only at the Holy feet of the true Guru.