Hello lovely people!

I am writing after 2 weeks, I've been busy after returning from the Retreat and so couldn't write, but now, here I am.... wanting to tell you guys how beautiful the Sangat is at the camps and retreats, there's this automatic bliss just because of the presence of Guru jee and His loved ones, the Sangat....
I am so grateful to God, for having blessed me with all of these lovely things that I learnt from my Spiritual Sisters there at the retreat...and the moments of silent reflection, and peeping inside my own heart to look for the determination and Love they had for their Guru and for the Husband Lord, that I have never been able to Cultivate in me... even though I am probably older than most of them... somewhere inside I probably even envy all the Sangats Dedication and reflect back into myself looking for it,... and then like a kid who ate sand all day at the beach, wanting to return back to Home, I pause, and realize that I'll have to sow dedication and Love, my heart couldn't just have it in store for me...
I tried to be with everyone and yet at the end of the day, I am left with my own struggle and my own Addictions to Maya to deal with... but all of you Sangat, all my Cyber Sangat, all the physical sangat all of you have helped me so much, and really Empowered me... that when I look back at the time when I was just looking around and dreaming to fulfill my longing... I was so hopeless....
Words cannot describe what this Camp did for me, I feel more connected, more empowered and I actually feel like I am now gonna get somewhere with my Sikhi... I've started to do my Prescribed Nitnem Banis and even extra ones, on a daily basis, and every time I am just chilling in front of the TV and killing time, I feel Hungry and unsatisfied inside, and "Khasam Veesareh ta Kamjaat" (Those who forget their Husband Lord are undignified and Lowly), and just Lines from Savayey and other Banis about Khasam Veesareh (forgetting the Husband Lord) come popping up in my head and stomp hard on my head and heart, and I am just forced to go to my room and meditate in silence, about this fear I have of Forgetting the One that I should endlessly love.....

I wanna talk about all the things we talked about in the Camp, so reading my blog can be a better experience, just because I think we learnt Life changing things there, and I will make sure I can share everything I can remember, so that my blogging can be useful and meaningful.... and I'll do that over the course of this Fall, because I'm getting busier with School and I might not be able to blog regularly....   =(

but for now, I wanna  talk a bit about what's up with me... well, because some parts of it are exciting!

So, I am starting that Hospital Volunteering that I was talking about some months ago, with you guys! Its Exciting!!!
And, Today was the first day of Fall 2010 semester, and It was busy, a lot of things are gonna happen ahead, I am just so excited and scared at the same time!  Last week, after I was back from the Camp, I had to Lead this one Volunteer position (called the Orientation Leader) that I do in my University, where I try and help new Students through the beginning of their Post-Secondary Life, and show them around and run a Mentor-ship commitment with them for 1 semester, so, the first 2 days of the Orientation were a blast...
the Second day I was leading the entire group of 400 people through a huge scale Icebreaker, where people just get comfortable with others and their surroundings, and it went really well. In Fact I was thinking to myself that I was pretty good at defeating my fear of Public Speaking all together there, and I want to professionally also Lead huge Events and things like that, and so I felt that I was quite Successful...But the thing is, Every time I feel that Success is coming along, I come down on my knees (Child's pose) and just meditate on how I did and How I wanna be Ideally do in life, everything for me is a Stage Show, that I wanna lead.... and while I meditate, all my Mind can cook up is Thanking God.... I am greatful for this blessing of being able to recogonize that I am full of Faults and yet my Husband Lord and My Father Guru Ji, Love me endlessly =)

Oh and Other things about today LOL... So, I just found out that I made a huge mistake on my documentation for my Student loan this time =( I dunno what I'm gonna get into, but Hopefully Guru jee will make things better....
 AND,,, this one is exciting: So, Today in my Chemistry Lecture, we were asked to consider a Notes-taking position, opened by Centre for Disability Services (CDS) of our University, and as soon as I found out about this position, I ran to the  CDS to apply (there was another Lady who applied and I thought that she should be better than me, I could just sense it, but its not about competition for me, Its more like I Genuinely wanna help someone, and so it feels like a good Opportunity). After, I came back home and took a long Power nap,,,,, and now that I opened my e-mail, I found out that I've been offered this position, YAY!!! I am so happy, I truly wanted to be able to work/ volunteer for CDS, even though I am really only a 2nd year student yet...I know that this is not a big deal, but I feel like when you can help, it is a good Deal even if it is very small or insignificant in the eyes of the world...
Ok, lets see, whet else,,,,, Oh I am scared of My organic Chemistry class already, b/c I don't remember too much basic Organic Chemistry, need to work hard.... and Genetics as well.... both my Health Science courses Excite me! We'll see how they turn out!
Wanna know something, I got to school early today, and me and a friend did some outdoors Yoga on the hill! It was cool! Hopefully She'd wanna join me for it every Wednesday and Friday for Yoga!

So, Thank You for Reading!
Love and Light!
Guru Fateh!!!!!