Well, I had a conversation with somebody, which forced me to think about mistakes & sins. I bumped into a friend of mine (who I hardly knew on a personal level before this day) and had some really deep conversations, just coincidentally, out of the blue. I think, our conversation started, as I reflected upon how I wonder if popularity or "followers" on twitter/ tumblr/ blogger might blaze peoples ego. Anyways, from there I guess I said something about how it was so hard for me to realize, when I first started waking on a path of spirituality, that we are meant to be followers & not leaders, for certain things. Then I guess she said some stuff and I recalled seeing a picture of Jesus, after the Last Supper, washing the feet of all his disciples- and I wanted her to explain me why he did that. And there we were back on the topic of Humility and "Jesus said: I came to serve, not to be served..." and we had an awe-inspiring discussion. But then we tread upon some hard topics- like why does God give us suffering- if He really loves us, why do we commit sins, regrets in life... how'd we know if God forgives us for giving into temptation... really hard stuff...
And I realized how many of us live with regrets of our past sins.
When people ask me if I regret anything, I probably giggle and say No, nothing at all- but that, I realized today is likely to be something questionable- I'm not gonna say bad, but questionable.
Have I never given in to temptation, to Kaam (lust), Krodh (anger), Lobh (greed), Moh (attachment), Ahankaar (pride)? I have, maybe so many times that I can't even pin down a number- and perhaps to the extent that no one ever has! Honestly!
Have I never committed any mistakes? Buddy, I commit sins all the time- I'm like full of sinful actions.
Have I never made a bad decision? Oh boy! are you kidding me... I've likely made so many- I'm a mess. I don't even get up in the morning and do Nitnem (daily meditation), I eat without doing my prayers. I forget to floss my teeth half the time haha =[
But I still don't feel that I have any regrets at all. I wonder why though... like what is it that makes me think its okay...
But then I recalled (from past interpersonal experiences with friends, etc.) how sad some people are, cause they have sinned.
I think we all make mistakes (I don't like to use the word sin, because I personally doubt if there's such a thing as sin)... but then we all are presented by the chances to make up for our mistakes. I guess we just gotta live our chances, not regrets. But the one thing I said also was that If we genuinely regret and apologize to God for our mistakes, we are forgiven. And God forgives sincerely- he'd totally forget our mistakes if we deserve forgiveness.
So basically, I find it hard to wrap my head around God and His awesomeness, as usual.
*~*
Anyways, I'm participating in a Sehaj Paath, so when I came home, I ate and thought of doing a Raul (my turn for scripture reading), & Guru Ji is so kind, compassionate, caring - I love Guru Ji maharaaj for the wonderful out of the world blissful time I had at His Charan Kamal, reading the little bit of Gurbaani I have the super good fortune to read. He blessed me with one of the most blissful rauls I've ever done =). I almost wanted to cry today, cause before my Raul, I was thinking of my mistakes- all that I've done and never regretted, and despite all of that, Guru Ji blessed me with such a blissful raul- I don't understand God and the Guru and the hugeness of their hearts.
In fact, there was an awesome Hukamnamah, and so many panktiya(n) (lines) in my raul that I almost stopped, and reflected upon- thanking Guru Ji for making me His daughter & then contemplating upon how my Nanak Guru Gobind Singh Ji & Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji Maharaaj are Akaal Purakh Waheguru themselves, how I am soooooooooooooooooooooo blessed to have their Darshan and Hukam...
Oh and this shabad was in the middle of my raul- I've been trying to find this shabad since so long, but wasn't able to, cause I heard this in a kirtan event & totally fell in love with the first pankti (line):
| ਮੇਰੀ ਸਖੀ ਸਹੇਲੜੀਹੋ ਪ੍ਰਭ ਕੈ ਚਰਣਿ ਲਗਹ ॥ Merī sakẖī sahelṛīho parabẖ kai cẖaraṇ lagah. O my friends and companions, let us remain attached to the Feet of God. |
| ਮਨਿ ਪ੍ਰਿਅ ਪ੍ਰੇਮੁ ਘਣਾ ਹਰਿ ਕੀ ਭਗਤਿ ਮੰਗਹ ॥ Man pari▫a parem gẖaṇā har kī bẖagaṯ mangah. Within my mind is great love for my Beloved; I beg for the Lord's devotional worship. |
| ਹਰਿ ਭਗਤਿ ਪਾਈਐ ਪ੍ਰਭੁ ਧਿਆਈਐ ਜਾਇ ਮਿਲੀਐ ਹਰਿ ਜਨਾ ॥ Har bẖagaṯ pā▫ī▫ai parabẖ ḏẖi▫ā▫ī▫ai jā▫e milī▫ai har janā. The Lord's devotional worship is obtained, meditating on God. Let us go and meet the humble servants of the Lord. |
| ਮਾਨੁ ਮੋਹੁ ਬਿਕਾਰੁ ਤਜੀਐ ਅਰਪਿ ਤਨੁ ਧਨੁ ਇਹੁ ਮਨਾ ॥ Mān moh bikār ṯajī▫ai arap ṯan ḏẖan ih manā. Renounce pride, emotional attachment and corruption, and dedicate this body, wealth and mind to Him. |
| ਬਡ ਪੁਰਖ ਪੂਰਨ ਗੁਣ ਸੰਪੂਰਨ ਭ੍ਰਮ ਭੀਤਿ ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਮਿਲਿ ਭਗਹ ॥ Bad purakẖ pūran guṇ sampūran bẖaram bẖīṯ har har mil bẖagah. The Lord God is great, perfect, glorious, absolutely perfect; meeting the Lord, Har, Har, the wall of doubt is torn down. |
| ਬਿਨਵੰਤਿ ਨਾਨਕ ਸੁਣਿ ਮੰਤ੍ਰੁ ਸਖੀਏ ਹਰਿ ਨਾਮੁ ਨਿਤ ਨਿਤ ਨਿਤ ਜਪਹ ॥੨॥ Binvanṯ Nānak suṇ manṯar sakẖī▫e har nām niṯ niṯ niṯ japah. ||2|| Prays Nanak, hear these teachings, O friends - chant the Lord's Name constantly, over and over again. ||2|| Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh PS. You know, the famine in Somalia has killed more than 30,000 children under the age of 5. If you havn't donated yet, please donate: |
And then there's these ways if you like 'em better : Universal Giving has compiled a list of direct ways you can help those affected by the famine in Somalia.
- Give $25 to support a student in Somalia
- Give $25 to help a child suffering from malnutrition
- Give $30 to sponsor an orphan in Somalia
- Provide life-saving relief to drought victims in East Africa
- Give $50 to feed a child for a month
- Give $150 to feed a family for a month
- Give to Read Horn of Africa USA, serving children in Somalia
| Love and light <3 Hugs and Prayers |
hmmm. going great...keep it up!! but don't forget to cover your head while visiting Guru :)
ReplyDeleteSure thing Bro! Thank you =)
ReplyDelete