May 31, 2009... Exactly 2 years ago, I was blessed with Amrit... It was funny how this all happened. I was totally unprepared.... I just wanted to 'become' a Sikh...
Probably, I was thinking that I am ingesting a magic pill that will guarantee faith, happiness and bliss in my life.... Of course I was keen.... my parents had gone to Whistler for the weekend. But they knew I was going to....just didn't know if I was serious!
Interestingly, this morning, I was showering, and suddenly I remembered the Vaisakhi of 2009. We were going to the Parade, and I was gonna wear a Suit, so that morning I shaved my body, straightened my hair, and dolled up nice n proper, so I'd look nice and feminine in my suit. LOL. And then there was this same day, exactly 2 years ago, when I gave up my intuitions of nice n girly, pretty, etc. Some miracle won over my crazy perceptions and future plans- Purple hair, full body tattoos, semi-mohawk, all those things that I still love (on others, obviously); but not more than Guru Ji and His Hukam!
.....And in this path, in this lifestyle, I found the same passion, the same personality, and the same strength of character, that I found in Purple haired, semi Mohawk: It is the beauty, the integrity of our Dastaars/ headgears/Patkey.... the real strength of our lifestlyes- our Rehits- our 5 Kakkars, the love for Guru Ji and the passion to do anything for that Love, that had me in... His Hukam meant more than anything humanly possible!
I realized that "I did not change....I just found myself!"
And on this path, I struggled endlessly... I was like a newly hatched birdie, flapped my wings real hard, rose and then fell off again, repeatedly, day after day.... But Now that I feel that I am a bit stable (despite falling every now and then), I've had crazy amount of Kirpa. All I ask for now, is aas (longing), pyaas (thirsty) & preeety (love) for Guru Ji's charan Kamal; all those wants and 'needs' have started to get excluded from my daily Ardaas (prayers): Med School, family, Prince Charming, supportive friends, luxurious house.... everything. I just want Guru Ji- the dirt on His Charan Kamal! I really only need Him to be able to live...
Today is a day to reflect... it is a day to count my blessings.... a day to call the dawn of Vaisakhi in my life..... a Day to embrace all beings as the light of my Pita Ji Maharaaj- Sri Nanak Guru Gobind Singh Ji Maharaaj & my Khasam Sri Akaal Purakh Ji maharaaj..... A day to sacrifice all I've got for Him who gave it to me at the first place...... a day to humbly bow unto the Charan Kamal of Sri Akaal Purakh Ji Maharaaj and never raise my head in Ego...... A day to realize that I am a follower, not a leader.....it is time to be grateful & actually become Guru Ji's daughter- the Khalsa Royalty!....
And above all, a day of complete Surrender..... I am sick of falling, GurKirpa will not just happen to me, without Struggling; but as long as my head faces my Guru, it's all good!
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"I can't brag about my love for God because I fail Him daily,
but I can brag about His love for me, because it never fails"
-Unknown
Dhan Dhan Sri Guru Nanak Dev Ji maharaaj
Dhan Dhan Sri Guru Gobind Singh Ji maharaaj
Dhan Dhan Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji maharaaj-
Sri Aad Darbar Ji, Sri Dasam Darbaar Ji, Sri SarsbhLoh Darbaar Ji!!!
Love and Light =)
*Hugs*
Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji ki Fateh!
waheguru ji ka khalsa! Waheguru ji ki fateh!
ReplyDeletei am so moved by this post. when everything falls away all you really desire is Guru ji. thank you, thank you sister. motivation for the road ahead.
rae
Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa
ReplyDeleteWahgeuru Ji Ki Fateh =)
I'm so glad you find this inspiring Rae! Thanks so much for giving it a read. I am constantly inspired by you and I was so happy to read your experiences from your trip to India!
Love and light =)
*Hugs*
HarSimran Kaur