Reflections from the Sky: The RFDS experience

Recently, I was interviewed by Gina aka Gezina Mosch, the Digital Content Writer Marketing, Future Students and Admissions Services and Resources Division James Cook University, Australia and it was about my experience with the Royal flying Doctor service (RFDS) And I thought, why don't I share it on here, since it was a written interview and I'd love to spread the word Re: my RFDS fundraiser. So here we go. What was a typical day like during your placement with the RFDS and can you describe one of the most memorable flights or clinics you joined? It really depended on the shift I was rostered to. On aeromedical shift days, I’d start with lots of telehealth calls from patients in incredibly remote and beautiful locations - places as far out as Hardy Reef (with complaints like barotrauma), to places inland as Mount Surprise, Kowanyama, all all the way out to Bamaga or the TI. Presentations ranged from acute urinary retention and geriatric falls to motorbike accidents. These telehealth consults would sometimes turn into roadside FaceTime calls, where we could assess patients in real-time and offer treatment advice based on whatever supplies they had on hand. Many patients living on properties and cattle stations had access to the RFDS medical chest, so we could prescribe things like antibiotics or analgesics for stable patients. For unstable cases, we’d make important logistical decisions: Was it best for RSQ to retrieve them? Could a local hospital ambulance reach them? Or were we the best team to fly out and retrieve them ourselves? When it was our mission, we’d land on airstrips, cattle stations, or tiny tarmacs, do a thorough assessment on the ground, stabilise the patient, then bring them onboard to transfer them to a tertiary hospital like Cairns Base or Townsville University Hospital - depending on the medical needs and geography. On primary health care clinic days, I’d fly out with senior doctors and flight nurses to remote communities like Croydon, Forsayth, or Georgetown. We’d either set up a morning clinic in a local town hall or staff a small outreach clinic for the day. These clinics often involved caring for entire intergenerational families - each with unique and diverse health needs. My most memorable RFDS flight actually happened on my very last day with them. I was part of an urgent retrieval from Normanton. When we arrived, we quickly realised the patient was far more critically ill than anticipated. He had a non-blanching purpuric rash - a telltale sign of sepsis. In the tight quarters of the RFDS aircraft, our team worked together to stabilise him mid-flight. At one point, the flight nurse and supervising doctor quietly said they wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t make it. It was one of those full-circle moments - where I realised that everything we train for as clinicians can be called upon at a moment’s notice. It was raw, real, and deeply human. And it reminded me exactly why this service is so vital: to give people in geographically isolated communities the same chance at survival, the same standard of care, and the same dignity we promise every Australian - no matter their postcode. Was there a particular patient interaction or community visit that really stayed with you, and why? Some patient stories don’t fade - not because of what we did, but because of what we couldn’t undo. She was a two-year-old from a cattle station in the Torres Strait, transferred by the RFDS through 2 different rural hospitals before arriving at the Paediatric ICU at TUH, where I was placed. Her death from an entirely preventable illness continues to shape how I understand healthcare equity - and why I advocate for rural, remote, and Indigenous health. Although this happened about a year before my placement with the RFDS in Cairns, the patient was an RFDS case. She had been flown in, already intubated from a small rural hospital, after presenting with subtle seizures that weren’t responding to treatment. During the morning ward round, I assessed her under the supervision of the paediatric ICU specialist. I gently lifted her eyelids and shone light into her beautiful blue eyes, searching for any response. My heart sank when I saw how utterly unresponsive they were. I reported to my supervisor, “Pupils fixed and dilated,” holding back the lump in my throat, fully aware of what those words meant for this little girl and her family. She was already gone - far beyond the limits of what medical intervention could reverse. Later, it was confirmed that she had died of Primary Amoebic Meningoencephalitis (PAM), caused by an infection with Naegleria fowleri - a rare but devastating amoebic infection of the brain lining. It is entirely preventable, yet it continues to claim the lives of children in remote parts of Far North Queensland, where exposure to untreated warm water is more likely - in communities where most Australians would never swim, let alone live. Her eyes stayed with me - I couldn’t forget them. In the days that followed, they even appeared in my dreams. Eyes that should have been filled with life and mischief were utterly still. I didn’t know a person I’d just met could move me so deeply. But she did. And since then, I’ve carried her with me. She reminds me - quietly, insistently - why I care so deeply about healthcare justice for rural, remote, and Indigenous communities. Since then, I’ve had numerous conversations with people in positions of influence about bush children’s health. More often than not, whether it is a conversation about testing waters after the floods or doing more outreach, I hear things like, “You’re getting hung up on rare stuff, we need to allocate resources sensibly.” And while I respect the principles of resource allocation; I believe true justice isn’t about how often something happens - it’s about what’s at stake when it does. Preventable deaths can and should be prevented. That is the very purpose of a just and compassionate health system. Yet time and again, rural, remote, and Indigenous communities disproportionately suffer the consequences of preventable illness - whether due to under-resourcing, systemic neglect, or sheer indifference. Justice means allocating resources not based on the frequency of disease, but on the severity of need and a refusal to let geography, socioeconomic status, or race determine who gets to live. I believe we move closer to that kind of justice when we stop othering people. Othering is the root of so many forms of oppression - racism, sexism, white supremacy and, in this case, metropolitan supremacy and systemic indifference toward the healthcare needs of rural, remote, and Indigenous communities. It is the very opposite of compassion-driven, culturally competent, individualised care and it stands in the way of true health equity and integrity. How did this experience challenge or surprise you, either personally or professionally? I love medicine, and nearly every patient interaction feels precious to me. What surprised me most during this experience was witnessing the incredible dedication of the diverse team - doctors, nurses, pilots, engineers, and more -serving rural, remote, and Indigenous communities. One moment that simultaneously surprised and challenged me occurred during a tense flight when a patient’s condition became critical. The stress was palpable in the tight confines of the aircraft. Both the supervising doctor and flight nurse seemed deeply concerned. I felt flushed and realised in that moment that I was out of my depth, so I stepped back, knowing this was beyond my scope of practice as a medical student. Reconciling with feeling out of my depth and recognising that stepping back, rather than being too eager to help, is ultimately more helpful, was a crucial and humbling lesson in putting the patient’s needs first. The pilot then broke the tension with a perfectly timed, light-hearted joke. His emotional intelligence reminded me how vital teamwork, communication, and compassion are in high-pressure environments and just how amazing all the RFDS employees are! What did you learn about healthcare in rural and remote Queensland that you think more people should understand? Queensland is vast and so much of it is remote. Flying over rural and remote communities, I was struck by just how far everything is from everything else. What I came to understand is that healthcare here isn’t just about clinical skills - it requires creativity, cultural humility, logistical thinking, and a deep connection to community. Rural and remote healthcare isn’t fast-paced or transactional. It’s longitudinal, relationship-based, and anchored in trust. You don’t just treat illnesses - you care for whole multi-generational families, whole communities. You work with limited resources, cover huge distances, and often deliver care that would be highly specialised in a city, all while navigating cultural, logistical, and geographic complexity, in contexts where you may be the only healthcare provider around. And through it all, you are met with extraordinary strength and resilience - particularly from Aboriginal, Torres Strait Islander, and cattle/ farming communities, who live in places many Australians will never see. I was constantly moved by how willing patients were to share their stories and allow me into their lives and how open they were to help me learn. The doctors and nurses here don’t just tolerate students, they invest in us. They teach generously, model resourceful practice, and help build our capacity to serve so that, one day, we can return to these communities with confidence and commitment to serve and give back. And as a turban-wearing Sikh woman - likely the only one in a city like Townsville, let alone in some of the remote communities I visited, where most people had never seen anyone who looked like me - what stood out to me was not just the clinical richness of rural practice, but the incredible inclusivity and generosity I experienced. The warmth, curiosity, and welcome I received meant everything. Sure, I sometimes get a curious question or a funny assumption about my background, but nine times out of ten, I feel like I belong - or at the very least, that I have a role here. I feel like I can heal, empower, and support the communities here - give back to the communities that are helping shape me into the kind of doctor I hope to become. What would you say to fellow students who are considering a rural or remote placement but are unsure what to expect? To anyone considering a rural or remote placement but feeling unsure - take the leap. Truly. Whether it's through Rural Generalist training, GROW Rural, John Flynn, or a clinical school placement, these experiences will challenge and stretch you in the best possible ways. As senior students, especially in Years 5 and 6, we often get to function at a level closer to that of an intern and you won’t believe how much that prepares you for the job ahead. The learning curve is steep, but it makes you more capable, more confident, and more connected to your purpose as a future doctor. Medicine is a long road, and you’ll be learning forever - but rural placements fast-track your growth in ways city rotations just can’t replicate. You’ll learn to think on your feet, take initiative, and rely on your own reasoning. And you’ll be surrounded by clinicians who genuinely want to teach you, not just use you. And beyond the medicine - the people and the places you encounter are beautiful beyond words. I’ll never forget lying in the grass under the FNQ night sky, staring up at more stars than I ever thought existed, and seeing the Milky Way stretch across the sky, clear as anything. Or snorkeling for hours over the reef, mesmerised by the world’s most enchanting underwater natural wonder - following turtles into crystal-clear waters and spotting Nemo (Ocellaris clownfish) darting among anemones and unbelievable marine creatures, alongside an abundance of unique soft and hard corals- from the most intricate lace like structures to massive ancient brain motifs, showcasing fascinating morphological diversity. Hiking to endless waterfalls, swimming in hidden water holes on hot weekends - it’s all just unbelievably stunning. Rural medicine gives you more than just clinical growth; it gives you moments of joy, awe, and deep peace that stay with you for life. Why is it important to you to raise awareness and support for the RFDS, and how do you hope others, especially fellow students or graduates, might get involved or give back? Raising awareness and support for the Royal Flying Doctor Service is deeply important to me because it represents more than just emergency care- it’s a lifeline for people living in rural, remote, and Indigenous communities who often face immense barriers to accessing healthcare. The RFDS embodies equity, compassion, and resilience, bringing high-quality medical care to those who need it most, no matter how isolated they are. Having seen firsthand the dedication of the RFDS teams and the profound impact they have on individuals and families, I believe supporting this service is supporting the very foundation of healthcare justice in Australia. It’s about ensuring that geography, culture, or socioeconomic status don’t determine who gets timely, life-saving care. I hope fellow students and graduates will see the RFDS not just as an incredible healthcare provider but as a community to which they can contribute in many meaningful ways. Whether it’s through fundraising, advocacy, volunteering, or choosing to pursue rural and remote medicine, every bit helps to sustain and strengthen this vital service. Getting involved is also a chance to learn, grow, and develop skills that will shape compassionate, adaptable doctors ready to serve all Australians. Ultimately, giving back to the RFDS is about standing in solidarity with our most underserved communities, honoring their strength, and committing to health equity for all.

Updates

Dec 2025: I've graduated medical school in Queensland Jan 2026: I joined the workforce in Victoria, at Albury Wodonga Health

💗

Decide that you wanna fill with joy 

AND so it shall be 

💗

Looking ahead

 So I'm about to start the final exam season push and then come the 6th year (Internship) of med school 

This year, as a 35 year old, I am gonna be the doctor of my dreams, and on a personal note I do wanna start thinking about growing my family and reflecting on that, I feel that there is a re-branding &  re-orienting (or say entring my shining era) long overdue. 

I have been thinking that in 6th year I wanna take it to the next level and become the professional and the person I have been dying to be. This to me is living with integrity, at every moment in my life. My definition of integrity is doing the right thing even when no one is looking.  

For every single one of us there are some basic goals or things that we need to work on to feel like we're being congruent with our values and goals, for me those are at the momemnt are:

1) Simran & Nitnem routine + studying gurbani (de facto, rather than de jure), what really does happen rather than what should happen. 

2) Working out & Eating healthily (by default) like it's as vital as brushing teeth/ washing hands after using the toilet. It is vital to 

3) Having an impeccable work ethic, proactive and with the end goal in mind. For me the end goal is always healing, empowering and supporting the patient- it is life affirming, for both the patient, myself and my colleagues.  

4) Actively working on and being so committed to self love, inner equinaminity & tranquility, that being genuine and kind in my relationships with myself & others comes naturally to me, responding with benovelence rather than being vitriolic & reactive. Being gentle with myself and putting myself first, while seeing that what others do reflects what they feel, healing their pain with my words and presence, rather than coming from a place that may also inflict further add insult to injury, because the ego substantiates itself in that. 

All 4 of these, are important as I want to not only do them for myself, but also inculcate them into my childrens psyche as non negotiable aspects of life. And therin comes the urgency to become a role model in these aspects.  

I have a vision of the kind of mother I want to become and I know from years ago, when I was blessed with Amrit and from when I decided I must become a doctor, that I am able to look ahead and relentlessly & effortfuly build the train tracks years before the train comes to town; I'm able to work out the How with Akaal Purakhs blessing, once I commit to the what. And so it shall be!

Nanak Naam Chardikalla Tere Bhaney Sarbat da bhalla. 

Okay it happened!

 They say that if you feel inspired to do something, say to the universe what you wanna do, and then the How will be revealed to you...

like I said yesterday, Speak what you seek till you see what you saught...

So I said to you, the universe, yesterday that amongst other things- I want to become a gurbani educator. And I put out the intention with ideas of what this would look like. So, today I came across a video that sorta gave me the idea- this shoild look like Essays! Written essays & Video essays....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lML0ndFlBuc

I have ideas, many of them.... but yes. I am gonns do this,,,, and 365 of them, one for each day of the 

Gurbani educator- I shall be

One of my hearts longings is to become a Gurbani educator. And so I am challenging msyelf to post Gurbani concept of the day for at least 365 posts one for each day of the year. During Covid, I did that in my instagram stories, it gathered some traction and people liked my work, but I think I did it too informally and didn't create good recordings/ archives of them, so I wanna start this thing again and do it well this time... I want to write it out and speak it out make it good. I may also record them and create content around gurbani education because that's how I will meet my goal of becoming a gurbani educator- and theres very few women in this field so I wanna step up, fill the void- that exists within my heart and the community. My personal hope is that it will help me get closer to Guru Sahib and actually become the thing that transforms my own sikhi before it transforms others'- but hey, I certainly want this work to have an impact. These Gurbani concepts will be all based in gurbani, might speak of things grinding my gears, or gurbani pangtees that are rocking my world or evoking certain feelings or helping me cope with life as we know it. It may be like sehaj paath or nitnem diaries or journalling feelings aroused by gurbani. It may entail pearls of wisdom that gurbani shares with us, or a commentary of the state of the world/ culture/ issues, based in gurbani. There may be stories or quotes or ideas that come from other palces, but will always be for understaning gurbani better or having gurbani help us reconcile with what we see. It may be santhyaa ideas and why they matter. It will be many things, but many things gurbani. That is my intention. So here we go- I shall speak what I seek until I see what I saught.  

And so it shall be, in the name of Nanak Guru Gobind Singh Ji Pooran Guru Avtaar. Nanak Naam Chardikalla Tere Bhaney Sarbat da Bhalla. 

Moving Target

 I turn 35 this week! 

It's been a long time since I have posted here. I sorta abandoned this blog in my mid 20s, I think. I was onto journeys and terrains where time was scarce, and motivation to keep up with it ran dry, and that was okay, good or excellent even at times. ... because life is about prioritization and re-prioritization, from time to time. I do stop by here every now and then, knowing this is a body of work (if you'd call it that), that once had an audience it reached, now serves as an archival journal to my early Sikhi days. It is rather comforting to come here and publish something quick - a safe fold of the many infinite pages in the mega-multiverse that is the Internet, safer and more out of reach than my rather popular Instagram profile- or really anywhere. Like the shoulder of an invisible friend - perhaps the ultimate friend- the one who has witnessed it all- who has dreamt my dreams with me, who has lived through each moment of my life with me, in me, taken steps in my steps, worked with me, through me, my hands, my body and my soul. (& for that matter, You- the rare reader!) 

ਸਰਬ ਭੂਤ ਆਪਿ ਵਰਤਾਰਾ ॥ Sarab bẖūṯ āp varṯārā. In all forms, He Himself is pervading.

ਸਰਬ ਨੈਨ ਆਪਿ ਪੇਖਨਹਾਰਾ ॥ Sarab nain āp pekẖanhārā. Through all eyes, He Himself is watching.

Preetam!

Anyhow, to speak to you, like leaning on Preetm's shoulder, 

I'm swollen with many thoughts today, eager to spill out and overflow, the heaviest of them all, is that of overwhelming gratitude. 

35 

And though I have not authored a single poem in the last 5 years... I have moved to a different continent, become a vastly different person, the anchor is still in you. My shores still rise and fall to the beat of your breath.

ਹਮ ਤੁਮ ਬੀਚੁ ਭਇਓ ਨਹੀ ਕੋਈ ॥ Ham ṯum bīcẖ bẖa▫i▫o nahī ko▫ī. Between You and I, there is no other.

ਤੁਮਹਿ ਸੁ ਕੰਤ ਨਾਰਿ ਹਮ ਸੋਈ ॥੩॥ Ŧumėh so kanṯ nār ham so▫ī. ||3|| You are the Husband Lord, and I am the soul-bride. ||3||

And the only prayer is that May I always be yours forever, without fail. May I always just reside in your Charan Kamal. In your meditation, your remembrance and beholding in your presence.

ਭਜਸ ਤੁਅੰ ॥

(Lord,) I meditate on you

ਭਜਸ ਤੁਅੰ ॥

(Lord,) I meditate on you

ਰਟਸ ਤੁਅੰ ॥

(Lord,) I repeat your name

ਠਟਸ ਤੁਅੰ ॥੧੫॥੬੫॥

(Lord,) I intuitively remember you ॥15||65||

ਜਿਮੀ ਤੁਹੀ ॥

you are the earth

ਜਮਾ ਤੁਹੀ ॥

You are the Sky!

ਮਕੀ ਤੁਹੀ ॥

You are the landlord

ਮਕਾ ਤੁਹੀ ॥੧੬॥੬੬॥

You are the house itself

ਅਭੂ ਤੁਹੀ ॥

You are birthless

ਅਭੈ ਤੁਹੀ ॥

You are fearless

ਅਛੂ ਤੁਹੀ ॥

You are untouchable

ਅਛੈ ਤੁਹੀ ॥੧੭॥੬੭॥

You are Invincible!

ਜਤਸ ਤੁਹੀ ॥

You are the definition of celibacy/ Purity

ਬ੍ਰਤਸ ਤੁਹੀ ॥

You are the means for a virtuous deed!

ਗਤਸ ਤੁਹੀ ॥

you are salvation

ਮਤਸ ਤੁਹੀ ॥੧੮॥੬੮॥

You are redemption

ਤੁਹੀ ਤੁਹੀ ॥

You Are! You Are!

ਤੁਹੀ ਤੁਹੀ ॥

You Are! You Are!

ਤੁਹੀ ਤੁਹੀ ॥

You Are! You Are!

ਤੁਹੀ ਤੁਹੀ ॥੧੯॥੬੯॥

You Are! You Are!

ਤੁਹੀ ਤੁਹੀ ॥

You Are! You Are!

ਤੁਹੀ ਤੁਹੀ ॥

You Are! You Are!

ਤੁਹੀ ਤੁਹੀ ॥

You Are! You Are!

ਤੁਹੀ ਤੁਹੀ ॥੨੦॥੭੦॥

You Are! You Are!

And You have been so kind, blessed me with your Charan Kamal to lean on. One who changed it all. Thank You! Dhan Guru Nanak! The sincerity, the meditation and the medicine, the triad I always sought. He's a medicine man. I see it in his beautiful eyes. Remember, I always said that the purpose of my life is to Heal, Empower and Support people. You blessed me with him and he did precisely that, to me. You bless us all. Its all you! 'Tis all good, 'This all Guru!

In your name, Guru Ram Das, all needs are always met. 

The targets of ego are moving target.

And there is always more to do, better to perform, deficiencies to accept and correct, lessons to be learned, redemption to be sought and worked for. 

Children to rear, patients to serve, assets to be accumulated, Seva to do. 

And yet, you are the doer in it all. 

And in You, Preetam, there's just tuning in and nothing else.  

Thank you, Preetam for it all. 

The moto 

"Good, better, best. Never let it rest. Till your good is better, and your better is best."

comes to mind, the ego mind... 

and then I tune in to You, plug into you, and find true freedom, Preetam.

 

Thank you for everything. 

It felt good to talk to you here today!

Update & Gratitude

Wahegru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

Vaheguru jio_/\_

I certainly have a tonne to share, now that I'm back here after well over 2 years!
Even though the desire to share is well lit, the desire to be heard or even to be seen has greatly diminished. I therefore, write for the few of you who have been asking & waiting for updates. Thank you for your emails and messages =)

As I was diving deeper into ocean of my longing for Preetam and His Charan Kamal, it became more and more clear to me that I was meant to serve.
I remember, one of my earliest spiritual experiences had so much to do with Guru Amar Das Ji Maharaaj. I've always learnt from Him, to serve wholeheartedly, selflessly and with all that you've got- Tan, Man, Dhan (body, mind, money); mind, body and spirit.
On this worldly journey, I finished my Undergrad and then dived into Doula work- started my company called Adi Shakti Birthing. This actually also followed a specific experience. I remember, about the end of 2013, I was reading Guru Nanak Chamatkaar (by Bhaisaab Bhai Veer Singh Ji) and I had this connection to the birth of Guru Nanak Dev Ji Maharaaj, during the Gurpurabh time, November 2013, and this specific experience in meditation, with Daultaa Dayee, who was the midwife attending the birth of Maharaaj. She then stayed on with the family and raised Maharaaj Ji's duniyaavi incarnation. Her story struck something deep within me, and that connection then took me to the depths of my being- the question of "Who am I and why I am here?" rang louder and clearer. I knew seva is my primary purpose, as of any Sikh- but with my relationship with Guru Harkrishan Sahib Ji Maharaaj bearing fruit, one day, brought me to the realization that my calling this lifetime is to "heal, empower and support" people. It was something I was already big at- I had been, till that point, doing many volunteer and career gigs that made it clear that in all that I've ever done in my life, I was really just trying to fulfil that purpose- my purpose and my calling this lifetime- which was to serve people- and specifically "to heal, empower and support people".
In the meanwhile, I got trained and started working as a Birth doula- and it was and still is an enchanted work- a work from the heart- where I feel that I fall in love every time I'm in the birth room- I mean how many people can say that about their workplace or work in general? I knew however that I had to do more- more Healing than just the hands on pain management during labour and my heart and mind would echo "You are really only here, to be truly helpful, in every way... and to Heal, empower and support people"!
And I knew that I was always drawn to medicine, but not the pharmaceutical pushing, reductionist, reactive kind of medicine- I was not gonna be a representative of the multimillion dollar trap, that aims at giving every man, woman and child an antidepressant (or other pills for that matter), just to support the industry and make money like most conventional doctors today are (I don't mean to generalize though, since there are some amazing good MDs out there and I love and respect the role of MDs in our system, where they are needed & they certainly are- maybe just not so much in primary care, since they have zero training in lifestyle medicine and nutrition!!!) Watch this hilarious vid, about the big Pharma thing I'm talking about! LOL!
And, I was certainly not gonna want to become a doctor for the sake of the egoistic 'title' or 'name'- I was gonna want to prescribe real foods, plant medicines, natural & holistic therapies and things like meditation and take care of the whole body the whole being- mind, body and soul, and teach people to be proactive about there health as opposed to being completely reactive. It was clearer and clearer to me, that I am meant to do and be many things in the world- many many things. And I knew, then- that of the many things- I want to become a Naturopathic physician, a midwife, an educator, an artist, a writer, a gardener (Talk about dreams! I wanna have an organic medicinal farm), a social justice activist and eventually also a mother (perhaps even a wife, usually I just say, who really needs a marriage, when you have maharaaj?, but if it's His Hukam, I'll have to look into it, of course after graduating from med school, Gosh! ATM I have zero time for anything- even typing this post is like a 15 minutes off my study schedule and only possible b/c of the family day long weekend!).
Last summer while I was travelling, and I had this very specific moment, triggered by the suffering I got to witness and the experience in the core of my being, what I'd call the quiver of empathy for another's grief, where I had to pause and ask for Guru Hsrkrishan Sahib Ji Maharaaj to channelize His healing into the world since we as a human consciousness are struggling so much with the various ailments of the mind, body and soul... I did an ardaas and then I asked maharaaj to direct me towards whatever it is that I can do to help, and when I came back home from my travelling, I got invited to an interview for the ND program I had applied for, earlier in the year. And with Maharaaj's immaculate compassion, I made it and so I'm in the program now!
Anyway! I just realized, that I must go back to studying, but so, here's my half baked update, I'm in Naturopathic medical school now, studying my butt off cause I wanna be of seva (service) to the world.
The thing that's keeping me going is my morning saadhnaa- which is Simran meditation & nitnem and my evening meditation (some Kundalini kriyas), Rehraas, Sehaj Paath (just a few hangs each night) and Sukh Asin seva regime. Maharaaj is sustaining me and my practice is keeping me heart centred, grounded in maharaaj's love (I hope/wish/try).
And so, I have soooooo much to be grateful for (in fact we all do)! Dhan Guru Ram Das!
And BTW, Guru Ram Das got me through my Biochemistry prerequisite (that was the last of my prereqs left over from my undergrad, and I finished it in December it was so challenging, talk about Maharaaj's kindness!) and started my ND program in January.
Now that I'm blogging again, I will share more (within reason) and you will find me talking about the miracle that Birth is, from Adi Shakti Birthing Journal or perhaps I will only have time to share some of my art work (all Gurbaanee and sikh related- that's my genre!), or you'll find me talking about the hukamnaamaas I get or just practical sikh life things... I have no idea what I will have to offer- but what I know is that We will all be sustained, since Maharaaj Has our back! The universe has our back!


Dhan Guru Nanak <3 br=""> "There is only ever 2 things- blessings or blessings in disguise" - anonymous.


WJKK
WJKF

This post has not been edited- so deal with the typos world! Lemme know if there's anything major ;P

getting over Amrit!?!

... I love Him, there's no doubt about it.
I really LOVE Pita Ji Maharaaj, and I LOVE Akaal Purakh Vaheguru. I long to be at His Charan Kamal. I long to catch a glimpse of Him... to be at His godh... There's no doubt that this love, this bond of Charan Pahul is unbreakable. But there's tests, struggles, road blocks all put in place to rase you above and take you some place better in terms of this bond.

When we say we love someone, we imagine people dying & not being able to carry on basic physiological functions without the other person. Just like Guru Ram das Ji Maharaaj says:

ਮੋਹਿ ਰੈਣਿ ਨ ਵਿਹਾਵੈ ਨੀਦ ਨ ਆਵੈ ਬਿਨ੝ ਦੇਖੇ ਗ੝ਰ ਦਰਬਾਰੇ ਜੀਉ ॥੩॥

Mohi raiṇ na vihĝvai nīḝ na ĝvai bin ḝekẖe gur ḝarbĝre jī▫o. (3)

I cannot endure the night, and sleep does not come, without the Sight of the Beloved Guru's Court. (3)

..how's He's unable to sleep at night without Akaal Purakh Vaheguru, and Guru Gobind Singh Ji Maharaaj Says.. how since He walked on the path towards Vaheguru He didn't even let his eye wander/ look elsewhere:

ਪਾਂਇ ਗਹੇ ਜਬ ਤੇ ਤ੝ਮਰੇ ਤਬ ਤੇ ਕੋਊ ਆਂਖ ਤਰੇ ਨਹੀ ਆਨਯੋ ॥ 
Since the day I caught hold of your feet, I have not looked elsewhere....

A really precious (/close) friend of mine, is going through a break-up right now. This was kinda sudden... they were so magical together, at least I thought so! I was talking to my bud and we were talking about how she doesn't need to worry about people and their questions... and that she is not answerable to anyone except for herself. Somewhere along the conversation, she said something like it is over now, and neither of us are dying to talk to each other or have an uncontrollable desire to be beside each other, we're able to go on with our lives... was this even love? Isn't love kinda like one of those phenomenon where if you separate, you cannot function without your lover & that it seems like being devoid of air to breath? 

Another friend of mine, was recently blessed with Amrit. She was mentioning how profound her first few days have been and how Guru Ji has suddenly filled every void of her life... She pointed out that 'how can one get over Amrit' and that it is such a profound thing.
I feel her, I feel this bond and how getting over it is like forgetting to breathe. Some nights, I experience this, exactly this, when you cry your eyes out because you wanna just get that glimpse of your Preetam. You literally feel yourself in His embrace, in His Charan Kamal and yet, after angs and angs of baani, after days and nights of simran, after hours and hours of meditation, you don't feel satiated. You don't feel that you're there yet or that you've got Him, even though this is the biggest fallacy, you always have him, He is Sarab Nirantar, yet you w'want' Him to be closer.
But then, I recall the moment when I was blessed with Amrit, perhaps it was the sweetness of the ras, but I was satiated, for once in my life- this insatiable being within me felt so much satisfaction, so much tript that I couldn't have it any more! I only fell on the ground cried until I forgot myself and that was it!
The reason I'm writing this post, is because I want us to explore love, I want to know what it means when I say I love and adore mere piyare preetam Akaal Purakh Vaheguru. I want to discover what it means to love someone. When people say I could do anything for you and that I am nothing without you, what does it mean? 
But the one thing I realize is that, guru Ji can do ANYTHING for us, but can we do absolutely anything for His love, His Bhagti, for His Charan Kamal. And then there were these bhagats who even got wrapped in cotton & burnt alive for their faith and then there wear these mothers whose little babies were killed in front of their eyes as a result of them, staying true their faith and not leaving Guru Jis charan kamal for anything. 
But my question still remains, why do some people 'get over' stuff so easily? How can someone get over Amrit? And we know that people do, we all do- we get over Amrit sometimes only from a moment to moment basis, we forget our commitment to the hukam, the rehit, Amrit vela or to Guru Ji's charan kamal in general. At this point, I feel that Sikhi intersects with buddhism, in that keeping a moment to moment mindful consciousness or Simran or dhyaan is so essential for never getting over the prem ras of Amrit!  Sikhi is so simple yet it can be so complicated, such is life, isn't it? We are all suhaaganaa of the preetam, we are all colored in His love and yet, theoretically, it is so challenging and practically it is so possible to always remain the bride of Akaal purakh. 
The truth is, that the prem piri sohaangan within us, cannot endure this separation, cannot sleep without Him and that's what makes this relationship special~ 
Have you ever done something absolutely stupid or nasty at night & woken up with a dream where you were interacting Guru Ji in some shape, way or form? Aren't those awesome nights? Your pain of separation is so strong, that He has to come help you heal out of the wounds your mind inflicted upon yourself!

And yet, there are those nights when you experience Him and nothing else exists for you.

You know what's really funny, He's soooo crazy & adorable like that! 

Anyway! I want us to think about it- I want us to commit to Him Oh so completely, that we never ever, even for a moment get over the ras of His love. How can we, anyway? 
I want us to dive deeper and deeper in His love.
I intend for us to immerse in the true Guru's love 

Dhan sohaagan naar < 3

Dhan Guru Nanak _/\_
Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh _/\_

*Love & Light* _/\_ *Hugs & Prayers*

Sikh women: Their past and present - Bhai Pardeep Singh

ਬਿਸਨੁਪਦ ਰਾਗੁ ਤੇਲੰਗ ॥

Bisanpad Raag Telang 

ਮਨ ਕਮਤਰੀਨ ਗੁਨਹਗਾਰ ਹੇਚ ਮਦਹਕਾ ॥

I am extremely low without any virtues, I am not praise worthy

ਤੁ ਈਂ ਗੁਨਾਹ ਬਖ਼ਸ਼ ਹਾਕਮ ਫੱਯਾਜ਼ ਤੂ ਈਂ ਦਾਰਾ ॥

You forgive our misdeeds, You are the Compassionate One, You are the King 

ਰਜ਼ਾਕ ਹੱਕ ਖਾਵੰਦ ਖ਼ੁਦ ਖ਼ਸਮ ਅਲਹ ਯਾਰਾ ॥

You are the one who supplies us with substance, Oh Master ! Oh King of Truth ! Oh Creator ! My Beloved Friend ! 

ਹਰਕਸੇ ਕਿ ਯਾਦਿ ਕਰਦ ਸੁਰਖ਼ਰੂ ਦਰਬਾਰਾ ॥

Whosoever remembers You, in Your court they remain honorable ! 

- Sarbloh Granth, Chp. 1, Vol. 1, Pg. 54.

Source:      http://www.manglacharan.com/2009/12/translated-passage-from-sri-sarbloh.html

Prema Bhagti

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

Vaheguru Jio
 I am really tempted to write tonight, even though I have a tonne of work to do, I wanna stop for a moment and swim again in the soothing tides of my Preetam Piarey's love.

Life just becomes a pure sublime blessing when 'religion' transforms into 'lifestyle' and then into 'love'.

There is something about falling in love...
You're sitting in the bus and all you think is of your Preetam, you're at home, at work, in the washroom (for God's sake!), on the road, it's the middle of the night, you're out in the scariest forest in the world... wherever you are, you feel your preetam, your heart beats His name, your blood sings of Him, every time you close your eyes, you sing to Him you feel yourself in His arms at His CharanKamal, and tears just can't seem to stop flowing... Everywhere you go you witness miraculous events, there is no way things that precisely crisp can be coincidences. There's just something about love and how it colors one's soul. Everyone reminds you of Him, everything speaks of Him,,, you encounter birds chirping of Him, you feel like an ocean, flowing away, wild and free, the tides of time, can't even take you off His godh... there's this constant feeling of anand, or sometimes pain of separation, NOTHING seems to cause you emotional dissatisfaction, you feel like an eager bride, all dolled up to see your suhaag, to witness His grace in the next thing that comes to you, you feel as if there's nothing in the world but Him, you can see/feel/ touch Him in everyone. You suddenly serve all and look at all like we think God does, with His Nazar (sight). You start to have amazing conversations with everyone you see, you cannot walk past a street beggar, a high on drugs lady or man, without talking to them, giving them a pleasant experience of human kind. you suddenly seem to become more receptive to curses, harsh words, you seem to want more criticism, more hate; but you get very little LOL. everywhere you go you feel His presence, everywhere you look you see Him, everything you do becomes a passionate sublime challenge to attain Him. I don't know how love works but I feel how it manifests itself. Words cannot even do justice to what love feels like...

There was a bhagat who loved Akaal Purakh so much that he couldn't stand His life anymore...
Then through a pathar, Thaakur Ji came and gave darshan to Bhagat Naam dev.

When Meera would cry, even kahna’s moorat would shed tears, it would give up the garlands and mukut (crowns) that pakhandi priests (non-prema bhagats), who disrespected Meera would adorn him with.

Handsome, tall and well-built, Guru Hargobind Sahib Ji Maharaaj, brought Maata Kaulaan ji with Him because She sang Sri Sukhmani Sahab with so much pyaar that Guru Ji couldn't stand her vedna(pain) & let her father Qaazi & his community murder her. He did that despite being called a kidnapper & a womanizer. His love for His bhagats was so amazing. He knew she would do her Bhagtee and finally die. But he wanted to save her at any cost, and He did.

… Bhagats are sooooo in love with their muraari, it brings tears to my eyes to learn of these amazing bhagats and their preetam… how their relationships worked and how their priye would love them back with double the intensity

I feel that it's been forever since I've dreamt of Him, It's been forever since I've truly been His. I need Him, I can't stand this life without my Muraai, my Preetam. I need to marry my Suhaag, I need to immerse in His love & His naam, I need to merge back into His CharanKamal. I am all His. I cannot let maaya take over every now and then, My battles are hard, but my Love for Him is strong. My problems are big, but He is even bigger... Re Man, Raam Sio kar preet ~ Re manna, Gur ke charan nihaar 

~Would you become a pilgrim on the road of Love? The first condition is that you make yourself humble as dust and ashes.  ~Rumi

Mere man, aise bhagat ban aayee, hau har bin khin pal reh na sakai jeise jal bin meen mar jaayee 

Dhan prem piri sohaagan

Dhan preetam piyaarey 

Dhan teri Sikhi,

Dhan tere niyaarey =)

Nonviolent Communication Workshop - Marshall Rosenberg (2000) (Mu...

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

This is so awesome! I wold like if you watch it =)

also..... I found this pic i wanna share:

Wahgeuru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh =)

Vaheguru Jio <3 p="p">
I'm gonna share this awesome video for tonight. I know it's miraculously amazing. I hope you like it.



I'll be back soon, with some pressing topics to talk about.... until than, stay blessed =)

I have my last exam of the semester on Tuesday.


Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh Ji _/\_ 

comPASSIONate observance

Hello y'all!
Vaheguru Jio<3

Its a nice summer night, after an amazingly bright day =)
I wanna write today, a super casual journal, while swimming in the ocean of my own head =)

Well, just this moment, a thought came swimming towards me, as I float, letting the water alone bear all my weight. I feel nothing but free... sooouper free. with nothing weighing me down, not even the weight of my own body. [sidenote: literally, when I go for a swim, I can float for hours, I love how it makes me feel]

The thought came swimming by, the thought of how compassion changes lives. How it makes our lives float with nothing weighing us down. How our compassionate selves free us from ourselves, from our egos, anger, worries, fears and all the things that result therefrom.
I've been exercising this version of mindfulness for the last month or so: I carefully notice everything I feel or think. I carefully hear and attempt to understand my own thoughts, why they arose, what is my real reason behind the thought that is arising within me.
 I must say, for the first day or 2 I started to judge myself, evaluate myself too harshly & think that I have horrible thoughts and that if everyone could hear my thoughts no one would wanna be around me... But then I had a realization that all my 'bad' thoughts arise with good/ decent counterparts. Either I am thinking something bad with a good intention or the bad thought follows a thought of opposition leading to a decent outcome. I wouldn't say that I am always good, but when I looked at myself with a little compassion, I was able to work though things better.
And also, this exercise helped me make some changes that I didn't even realize until a close friend pointed it out. I was behaving differently, I was forgiving myself & others and letting go of the biggest grievances I have ever had with anyone; I was hugging and loving more, much more...(especially my mother- those who've been reading my ramblings for long enough, know why that is special & significant); I was more uninhibited & spontaneous (contrary to what you would think); I was communicating, rather than fighting & shutting myself off to any negativity, I was actually embracing it and trying actively to get something useful from it... But in my head, all I was doing was observing my thoughts! LOL. But my conclusion to this is that our thoughts make us who we are- if we actually know what we're thinking we might be able to adjust our thinking & align it closer to who we are & who we wanna become.
This was an amazing experience, but it was hardly possible without being compassionate towards myself & towards others.
I found so much passion for Life within the heart of compassion. And this was significant for me because just before commencing this exercise, I'd been thinking too much along the lines of self-loathing in the spiritual sense, I'd think I am weak spiritually- or that 'Oh merging back with my Khasam Akaal Purakh Vaheguru is way too ambitious of me, with the free-bird indisciplined social butterfly I am..'; 'I'm such a loser for not thinking of Guru Ji all night' and self-negating thoughts like that, and just not being able to love people once they dismiss my love for thousands of time... Now, I'm trying, I try and love people who absolutely cannot stand me, because when I observe that hateful thought arising, I automatically tell myself, "Simran! Vaheguru bol" ("Simran[my name BTW], say Vaheguru"), and I immediately look in the mirror of my soul and see how 'This is so not me!', 'How can I call that person a B*** in my thoughts, when I wouldn't ever say that through my mouth? How dare I?'...'Am I not a B*** for thinking this way?"....
It's so interesting =) and it's phenomenal how this whole thing makes you change your course of action that follows. Just "Vaheguru Bol", [or whatever your self-realization/ self-healing phrase is], because my thoughts disgust me. "Vahgeuru bol" because I don't allow myself to think that a person is horrible just because at this point they're not behaving right- How about me? Why am I referring to them as a B***, when if they did the same exact thing I'd be so mad!?!
 Oh well,  and I cam across this Quote just a half an hour back, It's just so amazing:
“Picture yourself when you were five. in fact, dig out a photo of little you at that time and tape it to your mirror. How would you treat her, love her, feed her? How would you nurture her if you were the mother of little you? I bet you would protect her fiercely while giving her space to spread her itty-bitty wings. she’d get naps, healthy food, imagination time, and adventures into the wild. If playground bullies hurt her feelings, you’d hug her tears away and give her perspective. When tantrums or meltdowns turned her into a poltergeist, you’d demand a loving time-out in the naughty chair. From this day forward I want you to extend that same compassion to your adult self.”- Kris Carr
All I wanna say now, before I go to bed is that... We are all broken; we all fall short of His glory. Your mistakes are no worse than mine or anyone else’s. You are forgiven. You are loved.
Compassion is the source of all passion, isn't it? so my title tonight is "comPASSIONate observance", might not sell too well... but Oh well, I don't even care about that, so nothing to worry =) 
Compassion  is like floating, it gives you an infinite amount of freedom =) It takes takes away so much weight off of you .Perhaps it helps you let go of so much you don't need! we don't need grievances or hate or feeling unsatisfied or undesired or any of that, which we use against those who make us feel that way at the first place, usually without intending to! Compassion is big! I realized it just now =)


BTW! I have to tell you all that I'm learning music, isn't that sooooouper? It's exciting beyond belief, every time I play a new melody  I hope to get to raags soon =)  I'm learning to play an esraaj, and I wanna play Kirtan on it of course, with Guru's grace =)  [I cannot wait to sing for my Suhaag My khasam my maalik Sri Akaal Purakh Vaheguru, I just can't wait to be at Guru Granth Sahib Ji Maharaaj's Charan Kamal, singing His praises/ love songs, just for Him.] Also, my Organic Chemistry Final exam is this week so I'm a bit worried, but Oh well Vahgeuru <3 ! 


Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh <3
*Love & Light <3 *Hugs & Prayers*
_/\_

1984 Operation Bluestar - The Untold Story of India by Carol Oczkowska

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh =)

   Vaheguru Jio <3

It's exam time for me, so I'm just gonna re-post this very interesting, well-researched (& in my opinion true & therefore heartbreaking) documentary [that i got off of Sikhnet ]:

I am a firm believer of Love, even when it comes to Sikhi, I call  myself a Lover (of Guru Ji & the Sikh path), not quite a sikh.I just wanna clarify that I love India & Hindus & all Indians, except those that don't realize that they cannot get away with killing innocent people & destroying their shrines & raping their women, etc. I have nothing to do with the events of the Operation Bluestar, in fact I wasn't even born until a decade & a half after everything was done & over with. But I think its one of the most pathetic human genocide & that Justice hasn't been served, which is more pathetic than anything else.
Oh well! perhaps some more on this sue other time.
that's it from me this week =)

Take Care
Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

*Love & Light* <3 *Hugs & Prayers*

Saakhi time!!!

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa
Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

Vaheguru Jio<3

So I'm changing gears a bit today, since I'm short on time & it has been a while since I've written here on my blog... I'm uploading a quick video of me sharing a saakhi which I recalled a few days ago when I was thinking about situations where I loose patience and resort to anger or give up on a task....
I guess please let me know how you like it!
...and also, please accept my apologies for a rather armature video- I've never made/ edited/ uploaded a video & this thing has gotten really bad quality since i perhaps just guessed on how to make the video I don't know if I was supposed to select a size/ HD stuff & of course I made it on my laptop built-in camera... so I apologize for bad quality.
Here we go:

Just so you all know, I made this video public on youtube, which, for some reason makes me really nervous. =P
Lemme know what you think... if in your opinion I should keep it private or is this okay,.... etc.

Thank you =)

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh =)
*Love & Light* <3 *Hugs & Prayers*

*_*

Was called in to a random strangers akhand path, for doing a raul by a Kirtan teacher i know personally.
On my way, I suddenly became more and more aware of the fact that this household/ person, etc. are complete strangers... I wanted to not show up... but couldn't go back on my word...
Suddenly got so scared as I found the address right in front of me...

Then, I walked in and saw Guru Granth Sahib Ji Maharaaj! All of a sudden, a strangers house felt like my sat(i)gurus nivaas. Within a matter of split seconds, all my worry & discomfort of being at a strangers place was dispelled. In fact when bowing to guru Ji, I laughed at my discomfort, worry & knew that it was pointless.

Ofcourse I didn't eat at their place LOL.

ਡਖਣੇ ਮਃ ੫ ॥ Dakhanay, Fifth Mehl:

ਡੇਖਣ ਕੂ ਮੁਸਤਾਕੁ ਮੁਖੁ ਕਿਜੇਹਾ ਤਉ ਧਣੀ ॥ I am so eager to see You, O Lord; what does Your face look like?

ਫਿਰਦਾ ਕਿਤੈ ਹਾਲਿ ਜਾ ਡਿਠਮੁ ਤਾ ਮਨੁ ਧ੍ਰਾਪਿਆ ॥੧॥ I wandered around in such a miserable state, but when I saw You, my mind was comforted and consoled. ||1||

Shaheedi or a price to be paid for Justice?

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa  Waheguru ji Ki Fateh =)
Vaheguru Jio<3
Today, I was talking to an amazing Singhni aunty ji on Facebook about something, when I realized that I feel quite hesitant & perhaps scared, when I see how much we Sikhs are obsessed with Shaheedi. 

Some innocent questions have stirred my child-like curiosity lately: 

Is sacrifice an efficient way of being heard & for standing up for the truth? 

Are sikhs really that obsessed with shaheedi, is that justified? 

Guru Arjan Dev Ji Maharaaj & Guru Teg Bahadur Ji Maharaaj had all the power in the world, they could have avoided being Shaheed, why didn't they? 
Is someone's life a price enough for Justice? 
How do we measure Justice (especially in terms of shaheedi,etc.)? 

And, since I'm starting to believe that writing about something, helps me understand it better, I'm gonna do just that =), hopefully y'all will like it.
2 weeks ago, I was called into a Kids Sikhi camp to speak about topics relating to Visakhi. Obviously, I'm not a giani (Knowledgable expert). Because people organizing the camp were youth like myself & were short of speakers till the night before the camp, I decided that I can take the stab & speak to the little Sahibzaadey of Pita Ji Maharaaj (I'm gonna embed a really sweet video from kids camp, for y'all to enjoy =) I promise it'll bring a huge smile on your faces).  I was told to pick from various topics, some of which interested me quite a bit, but I decided to go with easy ones that didn't have to do with Sikh History, but could be treated as discussions with the 6-12 year olds. I told the little Singhs & Singhniya a real story (I can't prove that its real, just so you know) that I had heard in a Kaurs camp years ago.
There was a girl who wasn't into Sikhi, but her parents were, they used to tell her to chant 'Vaheguru' & do Simran, but she was never really interested. One night, she sneaks out of home, to go out with a friend, when on the way, while walking through a dark alley, she sees a scary dude walking towards her. He had a knife & a scary look on his face, which scared her to death. In this moment, she remembers how her mother always tells her to chant Vaheguru in her mind. She closes her eyes & starts doing Simran. The scary dude, who wanted to rob her & rape her (of course I didn't tell that to the kids, I just said he was gonna rob her), looks at her for a while & tries to get near her, but then for some reason walks past her, and goes to the next alley & does his misdeed with another woman. At this point, the kiddos started laughing (specially the 11-12 years old group). But I continued. The next morning, the girl goes to the jail, as she reads in the news that the dude was caught for raping & killing a girl in an alley close to where she saw him that night. She goes to him to ask him why he spared her to go just around the corner to rob, rape & kill someone else. He says that when she closed her eyes and started chanting something, 5 huge guys with turbans, beards & huge kirpaans appeared and they were gonna kill him if he came near her. At this point, I asked the kids to guess who these 5 guys were. They all screamed out "the 5 piyare"! (I was thinking Shaheed Singhs, but didn't wanna scare kids with a concept that could easily scare them & make them think something like ghosts exist, anyways, they solved my problem, or should I say Guru Ji took care of my hesitation, by getting the kids to answer it for me- 5 piyare... not scary at all! I went along with that). So the point I then made, was that every time we do simran, Guru Ji comes and takes care of whatever is bothering us at that moment.
And I truly believe that He's been taking care of my affairs really well. At times, in MY life at least, all I need is Guru Ji or Ardaas or Simran & voila! every messed up situations works out! And trust me, my life gets messed up too much & too often =P, there's a gazzillion issues that come up every now and then... but I cannot complain, cause Pita Ji, mere Preetam, has been too kind, before I can even start worrying, He sets up a light at the end of the tunnel. (BTW, to disclose the secret, & apologize... I've not been writing so much since the beginning of 2012, cause of issues & problems arising back to back, continuously, but like I said, Guru Ji is just pushing me beyond my limits, kinda like forcing me to come face to face with my fears & taking a stab, just to master in that area of my life & conquer my fears... Just like a concerned daddy does when teaching his daughter how to ride a bike, or walk for the first time, He lets go of her, as soon as he feels she's got it, but till then, he keeps pushing her beyond her limits, even if it scares the living pieces out of the poor daughter *~*)
Now, I look at concepts such as shaheedi & wonder if what is preached to our next generation Sikhs is really  true. If just by chanting 'Vaheguru' with all our heart & soul, Satguru Ji's help & protection reaches us, then why did shaheedi of Guru Arjan Dev Ji Maharaaj, Guru Teg Bahadur Ji Maharaaj, Guru Gbind Singh Ji Maharaaj's entire family,  countless Singha Singhniya, chotta ghallughara, 1984- 1894, etc. etc. etc. ever happen? 
At some point, I also told the kids that We all are Guru Gobind Singh Ji Maharaaj's Sahibzaadey, we all owe our lives & deaths (Shaheedi? hmm.. maybe not) to Maharaaj ji & the Khalsa Panth... & I discussed the concept of Jeevan-mukt (being dead, while still alive)- how sacrificing our Manmukhi desires every day of our lives is a sacrifice in its own- how Gurmukhs' ears are dead to nindya (slander), eyes are dead to sight of someone else's woman/man/precious objects/money/beauty/faults, etc. I said that we give up our heads and become committed to shaheedi- as in sacrificing (our sleep, our cunningness, our kaam, krodh, lobh, moh, hankaar). Then I clearly mentioned that Shaheeds of the panth didn't feel pain when being cut into pieces, boiled/ burnt alive... because they were doing simran/ reading baani in Guru ji's blissful lap at the time & had become jeevan-mukt when they gave their heads to the Guru at the first place. I might have been really wrong, but I think it wasn't my propaganda, it was just a discussion, where I was presenting my thoughts.
But then again, when I look at Sikh kids being somewhat fanatic & absolutely obsessed with shaheedi, I feel rather scared.  WHY?
1) I think fanaticism sprouts out of religious ego & self-righteousness, both need to be abandoned when we surrender our sees(head) at Guru Gobind Singh Ji Maharaaj's Charan Kamal,  when being blessed with  Amrit.
2) because I haven't completely surrendered my sees at Pita Ji's Charan Kamal & I think that if I'm put into a position where the panth needs me to give Shaheedi, buddy, I'll be screaming my lungs out & crying my freggin eyes out for sure (Guru Ji gimme Strength!!!). I pray that Guru Ji makes me His & that I belong to Him anyway, but He hasn't yet defeated my fears & resistance for pain, which is okay. But then again, when Guru Ji gives you a seva, He also gives you the strength for it/ He's the doer, we're just His puppets. Besides, He takes away our pain & only gives us the good part. See, you know what I mean when I say Guru Ji's the man! He's the besttttt
3) Bir Ras (the nectar of martial energy that Guru Gobind Singh Ji Maharaaj talks about in the Dasam Guru Granth) or beerta (bravery) is much different than acting out of anger or frustration. Guru Ji never advocates anger, He repeatedly say refrain from Krodh (anger). He says force & swordsmanship is our last resort & that it should be justified, it has to be in bir ras, not anger & frustration. "jabey baan lagyo, tabey rosh jagyo" (Guru Gobind Singh Ji Maharaaj)
4) I've been brought up by the generation of Sikhs who didn't quite practice their religion (took Amrit & such), because (I think) they witnessed 1984 in their late teens/ early 20's and saw their peers being massacred, raped, killed. They've seen too much oppression to openly embrace a faith that was being crushed at the time. Of course this doesn't sound very brave of them, but lay people do get terrified I guess. And to be completely honest, I'd likely be the same way, considering that a poor snap sound can completely freak me out, & these people saw their peer generations being bombed & raped & God knows what else. And my hesitation might be a result of always being told to not be an outlier (w/ Kirpaans & Dastaars) or look scruffy (/hairy) because of insane amount of racism people face.
5) Sikhi without sacrifice, doesn't seem right! Our Gurus chose to make the foundation of Sikhi on Shaheedi or sacrifice. I totally believe that everything that the Guru sahibaan did was for a reason, and to teach us something. Before I knew too much about Sikhi, the stories of Shaheed sings always took my breath away & lingered in my mind for prolonged periods of time. I had seen a picture of Bhai Taaru Singh Ji Shaheed on a random magazine in my granny's drawer when I was really just a kid & heard the story of his shaheedi & I was so sad & restless for years when I saw that picture. I remember keeping that magazine in my little collection of books for years. Every time I looked at it I felt so scared & restless.
The animated movies on Sahibzaadey, Bhai Taru Singh Ji & the new one (I watched today =P) Shaheed Bhai Subeg Singh & Shabaaz Singh- have always sparked impeccable inspiration in me. The stories are so real and so amazing. (BTW, the new movie is amazing, watch it- I kinda have the urge to discuss movies after I watch them =P). Sikhs have always faced tyranny & that's nothing new. Guru Ji says, you will always face opposition (/tyranny) in this world, when trying to do something good, but you have to be conscientious of the fact that you have to face the true lord in His court in the next world... so it makes sense to try to restore peace, value truth more than anything else & stand up for the truth (the role of the Khalsa), but my logical brain still hesitates, saying that theres no one truth, there are various sides of truth. your truth differs from my truth... I therefore hesitate quite a bit about the hype that gets created when there are causes worth sacrificing your life for. I do believe that there are times when it is clear that the panth needs you. 
jabey baan lagyo, tabey rosh jagyo (Guru Gobind Singh Ji Maharaaj)
But in this century, when everything is to be solved by negotiation, I see the concept of Gurmatta (http://www.sikh-history.com/sikhhist/institutes/gurmatta.html) more practical than sacrificing someones life. But then again, the tyrant can rule out gurmatta as well, in which case, there might be a need to do something serious...
Now call me a coward if that's what I'm being, but these are my super complicated thoughts, that have been  coming up recently.
I don't know if you'd like me to comment on serious war- like subject, but there's a clear issue in India with all minorities: Sikhs we all know were massacred in 1984 (& years after) as the Akaal Takhat Sahib was burnt & bombed, Muslims have faced tension so many times including the time when Babri Masjid in Ayodhya was demolished in 1992 to make a hindu temple in its place, Several churches were burnt in Orissa in 2007, Kashmir (a Muslim majority state) riots & issues are ongoing since like 25 years.... and for each one of these, the government & judicial system has been quiet & unwilling to provide justice. What would you call that? I guess people that get frustrated & think that the government is responsible for these, might just be right! 
Oh and in India, such riots look kinda like a scene where people are killing others, burning houses/ cities, mass murders, smashing all cars, gang rapes, all sorts of insane stuff- on the name of religion. Basically, pretty stupid!
Some interesting movie scenes (I like movies on political issues for some reason) reporting on such issues are   


This stuff is so scary, I can't even watch it (I watched it years ago, I'm not doing that again)
So, what do you guys think? Is sacrifice an efficient way of being heard & standing up for the truth? Are sikhs really that obsessed with shaheedi, is that justified? Guru Arjan Dev Ji Maharaaj & Guru Teg Bahadur Ji Maharaaj had all the power in the world, they could have avoided being Shaheed, why didn't they? 
My conclusion to this, definitely is that The foundation of Sikhi has been laid upon the blood of the Shaheeds, there must be a reason for Akaal Purakh Vaheguru for doing this. I cannot decipher it, we don't know what reason it served for the panth & for the entire world, but my faith in Pita Ji Maharaaj's Charan Kamal & the Love of my Preetam tells me that it's His affair, He controls it, everything happens in His Hukam, His bhaana (will) is right and I believe Him =) I think what we really need to sacrifice (give shaheedi of) is our greed, anger, pride, anger and ego. We need to find solutions to problems by working on ourselves & our surrounding communities. 
I shall no longer question this, but I'll be open to whatever I might be able to learn regarding the issue, God willing    


By the way, Here's the video from the Kids camp that I promised:

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh =)

*Love & Light* <3 *Hugs & Prayers*